Six Camino principles

I’m getting started on my associate certified coaching accreditation as I want to become a business coach.  This is something I’ve realized that I have a passion for and can see myself doing for the rest of my life.  As I’ve started researching some of the courses I came across these six principles.  They spoke extremely loudly to me and I wanted to share them and how I see them relating to myself and my Kung Fu journey.

1.  Get over yourself - I envision this as seeing my ego and then working on parking it.  I don’t feel that I can progress past a certain point in both life and in Kung Fu if I don’t realize my own ego and then take steps to keep it in check.
2. Practise self care - I like this one a lot and it can apply to both mental and physical aspects.  The physical side seems easier to manage as I can feel a bruise or a pulled muscle.  It’s then up to me to decide if I want to properly manage this injury (smart way) or ignore it (dumb way) and have it cause related injuries that will take longer to heal.  The mental self care is a little trickier to mange.  No one can see my injury or pain, it can be easier to hide and ignore.  It’s no less important and I could argue more important than the physical injury.  
3. Let go - Everyone is on their own journey and on their own life path.  For me this talks about not comparing myself to others on their journey.  I’ve been guilty of this and it derailed my Kung Fu.  In my non Kung Fu life I compared my self to others and what they had achieved.  At times this was very demoralizing and set me back in my own personal and business development.  
4. Be in the moment - Love this one.  It’s about taking time to slow down and smell the roses.  My mind can run a “mile a minute” and accomplish nothing all at the same time.  When I started to bring myself into the moment I was able to learn so much more.  I was able to start to grasp the concept of the teaching as my mind was calm and focused on the task at hand.  “Where and I and what am I doing” was the catalyst for this progression.
5. Receive gracefully - This concept is all about understanding all the gifts others give us.  Reading other people’s blogs is one of THE biggest gifts I receive.  There is so much gold in them and most of us don’t even realize it.  Receiving gracefully can also be applied when giving.  This can be done through my blogging, through teaching in classes, commenting on others questions on Kwoon talk and just being engaged and visible to others.
6. Ask for help - Could be the toughest one on this list for me.  As a male, husband and father I’m supposed to be the strong one.  The one with all the strength and all of the answers, the rock.  This isn’t true and when I need help I need to improve on asking for it.  It’s no longer a sign of weakness but rather of strength.

Mr. Repay

Playing and having fun

When I get a little "slumped" with motivation to train I revert to the things I love to do.  For me that's my nunchucks. When I pick those up and feel them in my hand I instantly feel better. I have pairs of them (I own many chucks lol) spread around my house in secluded spots.  I do this not for self defense but just feeling them in my hands is sometimes what I need to get into the training mindset. 

Tonight I started playing with my new pair of chucks. They feel so solid and good in my hands.  The weight is perfect, the angled sides of the chuck feel solid in my hand.  The way they fold together and lay flat against their sides allow me to use them like a set of esrima sticks (hint to what I'm adding to my form).  I started to spin them and when I finished I was able to figure out the balance point and get them to spin from side to across the top of my hand.  The difference between this style and the chain version is that the chain version would wrap around my hand.  The chain length is about four inches where the rope on my new set is only one inch and can't wrap around my hand.  I had to move my hand down to the bottom of the chuck and get the angle of my spin flatter.  There is no room for error without the chain but when you get it right, they feel much more stable and powerful.  The advantage to being able to move my hand to the bottom of the chuck is the range I gained.  The striking area for chucks is the tip and no more than one inch down from the tip.  If you hit with more of the chuck it will come back at you and trust me, that's not what you want to have happen.  

I started to play with a adaptation of sticky hands with my chucks.  I started to envision my chucks closed in my hands like escrima sticks.  I used one chuck to sweep across as a block and the other hand to wrap around my head with a strike to the temple in a helix stance.  Next it was a double low strike to the knees with a double crossing strike to the head.  It all flows really nicely with a lot of circular movement.  Now I just need to figure out where to slot this into my form?

I'm a huge proponent of striking something solid with your weapon.  How else are you going to feel what it's like to use the weapon the way it was designed?  I use my heavy bag to practice actual striking. I start out light and work up the power and speed as I start to understand the weapon.  It's a great way to see and feel the proper vectors of my weapon.  It allows me to find my range for different strikes.  I like to use a downward and upward strike across my body that delivers the most power with my target being the temple or the jaw.  I also like to snap it out from under my shoulder aiming for the bridge of a nose or knuckles of my opponents who may be holding a knife, sword etc. 

So many different ways to play!   

Mr. Repay

New or Old?

I'm looking forward to the year of the Ox as this is going to be my black belt grading year.  As part of our I Ho Chuan requirements we have to pick a weapon to master over the year.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE the nunchuku and specifically double nunchuku's. My love affair of this weapon started when I saw Bruce Lee use them.  After that, I was hooked!  Fast forward from my childhood to my training at SRKF and specifically Sifu Michael Playter.  Watching his skill with the double chucks and his double chucks form at a Chinese New year's banquet blew my mind.  Since then my love affair has only grown.  I've had my fair share of frustrations with these two as I've dropped them many times at the worst moments.  However I've also performed at my best with then when I didn't want to go swimming if I dropped them from that bridge😄. 

Now comes the question, which pair to choose?  One pair have the chain and ball bearing set up and this is the pair that I've used the most.  The second pair are hand made by a master in the United States specifically for me. However they don't have the ball bearings and the chain and are proving difficult to use right now.  They have a shorter rope and no ball-bearings. These are both nunchucks but they are totally different. The ballance point is different, the way they move is completely different. I like what I know but I can also see that these new ones can take my knowledge of nunchucks to a higher level. 

I've started playing with both today and they both feel like old friends.  I've started to play with a few different tequniques that I like the flow of.  Now it's time to figure out where and how to incorporate them into the current double chuck form I already know.  

My goal this year is to master Sifu Playters double chuck form but to also add in my personal touches to it.  I'm so excited to get back to these old friends and finish what I started years ago.

Mr. Repay

 

Taking freedom for granted.

Over the past week and especially over the past three weeks I've thought alot about personal freedom.  It's going on four weeks since the Alberta government restricted who we could see in our houses and outside our house.  As of right now, no one is allowed to come over and spend time with my family either inside our outside of our home.  I'm not going to be discussing why this has happened as everyone knows why.  

What I do want to discuss is how I'm feeling right now.  I'm feeling aweful, period.  I miss seeing my extended family, my close friends.  It's something I need Vs something I want.  Being sociable and interacting with people is such a big part of my positive mental health.  Without it, I'm feeling like I'm beggining to retreat inside myself.  Those darker inner voices are getting louder.  

I've never realized until this happened what a privilege it's been to be a Canadian. I was born and raised here.  I grew up with freedom since day one.  I'm starting to understand what it must be like to live in a country that has oppression and control over its people.  I never understood what it was like to not be able to go where I wanted and see whomever I chose to see.  I'm a little ashamed that I didn't understand this until now but I've never been in a situation that allowed me to experience it.  

I'm learning a lot about myself through these restrictions. I realize that I need to engage in ways that I'm not accustomed to.  I can't drown myself in self pity like I've done over the past couple of weeks.  It's not doing me any good and it's actually driving me to be in places I don't want to be mentally.  I'm also learning not to take my freedoms for granted anymore.  

Like pretty much everyone on this planet, I'm looking forward to 2020 to be in my rear view mirror.  Until then, I'll keep moving forward as best that I can.

Mr. Repay

"One step, one punch, one round at a time" - Rocky Balboa

This quote is one of those quotes that I refer to when I'm not feeling engaged. It really helps me get back into the moment and realize that I can't do it all at once and if I think I can, then I'm going to fail. what I really need to do is take the first step then the next step then the next punch then the next round and on and on and on.

The past week and a half I haven't been feeling very well.  I's been a been a struggle physically and mentally has been a bit of a drain as well.  Today I felt better and I started with the Advent challenge and man it really helped me. This was step one.  I can only speak for myself but I think every one of us needs to find those sayings, those quotes those little tidbits that help us refocus, recenter and get that first step in.  Once that step is taken, then onto focusing on the next punch, then the next round.  This mantra is all about re focusing, re centering and taking it bit by bit.  The mountain in front of me can seem daunting but one step at a time is all I need to keep moving forward.

I knew there was going to be low times in this year. What I focused on this year was trying not to have too many highs and not too many lows. I think I've accomplished this. What I used to do in past years when I had a low would to retreat into myself and disappear. I'm happy that this year things are different. I think a lot of it has to do with maturity and where I am in my life. I used to focus on the little things that didn't matter versus losing sight on the bigger picture.  This was discouraging and de motivating.

I'm going to continue with one step at a time one punch at a time and one round at a time.

Mr. Repay

Why did I join SRKF? How has it changed my life?

When I think back ten years ago I joined because I wanted to be a bad ass, nunchuck twirling version of Bruce Lee.  My Dad introduced me to Bruce Lee movies as a kid.  I vividly remember Bruce in his yellow track suit kicking butt with his double chucks.  I wanted to be like Bruce and from that moment on I wanted to learn Kung Fu.  

It took me a number of years to actually start my Kung Fu journey at SRKF. I remember driving by the school many times but I couldn't muster up the courage to walk in and sign up.   I did work up the courage to call the school and I spoke to Sifu Brinker for the first time. The rest is history as they say.

But why did I truly want to join?  I wanted to get into shape, find a way to do something physical and let's be honest here, I wanted to learn how to fight.  How things have changed over the past ten years.  I've grown up and matured a lot.  I do know how to "fight" but it's more like I know how to handle myself and hope I never have to fight. 

What I've realized is that SRKF has done more for than I've realized until recently. It's helped transform me into a much better person.  I was full of ego before I started training. Through the years I've learnt to deal with my ego and fight against it.  This has everything to do with Sifu Brinker, his Sifu's and the culture of SRKF.  If you want to become a better version of yourself, a better version for your kids then you can't find a better place to do that.  SRKF is so much more than "fighting", it's a place that teaches AND demonstrates empathy and compassion.  

I've taken what I've learnt here and applied it to my personal and professional life.  I've seen myself and my family transformed for the better through my Kung Fu.  

We're living in unprecedented times where the world seems to have a "every man for himself" mentality.  Because of SRKF I don't share that view, I have a view of empathy and compassion for the people around me.  

I will be forever grateful to myself for taking that first step those ten years ago, it changed my life forever.

Mr. Repay 

Engagment

This this is one blog post that I just don't know how to write or even know what I want to put in it.  Normally I have a number of blogs in draft ready to go but lately I just can't seem to find the inspiration or the motivation to write.  I'm pretty sure that the reason for this is my lack of engagement over the past 2 to 3 weeks. I know that when I'm engaged I have so many things to write about because so many things are inspiring to me. But when I'm unengaged everything changes. I know that over the past couple of weeks I fallen out of my routine, I haven't been doing my push-ups and sit-ups in the mornings before I start work like I had done in the past. Because of this my engagement level has dropped. I can say that the pandemic is the reason I can also say that so many things are the reasons for me falling out of my routine but really it's all about me.  What I've realized now is it just needs to be one step in front of the other. 

Mr Duncan's blog that I read this morning was inspirational and was the catalyst for writing this blog. He's had a really tough go of it over the last little while and to read that he's found a place that he can go to find serenity and help him put one foot in the other is really inspiring to help me get back to what I need to do.  

I really found that having my fellow teammates write blogs is very very very helpful in staying engaged.  Everyone that's been consistently writing week after week, thank you I really appreciate it. It's those things that really help me stay motivated and when I'm unmotivated they help get me back to where I need to be.

Mr. Repay

Six harmonies & the underlying Kung Fu

I spent Saturday morning watching my daughter ride her horse in a lesson.  What I noticed was all the Kung Fu that was in her riding.  There is a direct connection between her hands and what she does with them and the horse's head.  This is direct input and it's what most novice riders focus on only.  It was the same with my Kung Fu in the beggining.  We learn to punch properly in the early belts but as a male the power was developed by my shoulders and arms only.  There was a disconnect between the top and bottom half of my body.

As I watched intermediate riders you could start to see the connection in their lower bodies.  I could see the inputs in their legs moving the horse off the center line.  It was a delay however from their hands/shoulders to their legs.  The results can be confusing to the horse at times. It's getting the immediate input in its head then it gets the input (delayed) from the riders legs.  I could clearly see the confusion and sometimes it resulted in a horse and rider out of sync and frustrated with each other.

I also can draw comparisons between the disconnect in my Kung Fu techniques.  I feel this in the "chunkiness" of flow or lack of it.  I also feel this in the disconnect of power when punching or kicking. When I engage my hips and finish the punch at the same time the power is amplified.  Combine this with proper technique and the punch becomes devesating to whatever it makes impact on.

Then watching my daughter who has advanced to a higher lever and you see the six harmonies on full display.  It's amazing to watch the synergy of the horse and rider when everything is connected and smooth. 

I have the same appreciation of skill when I watch our black belts.  I can see the finishing of techniques, the flow, the grounded energy and power. I'm starting to feel this in my Kung Fu.  It's taken me a long time to develop the eye for detail but also to "feel" my Kung Fu. I'm  feeling when it's connected and when it isn't. It's also amazing to feel and see my Kung Fu in everyday life like today.

Mr. Repay

Validation, ego or for the right reasons?

One of my personal goals for this year's I Ho Chuan is to complete the first year of my degree.  This is something that I hadn't been able to start on until now for many reasons.  The main reason that I want to earn my degree is to legitimize (with credentials) my experiences to date.  I've gathered a wealth of experiences over the 20+ years of my career which I'm very proud of.  I've been told by my current employer that if I want to take it to the next level I'll need to get a degree.  

Here's my conundrum.  What if if I don't want to take my career to the next level?  I'm very happy with what I'm doing right now.  I make a very good living, I have the freedom to run my job like it's my own business.  I have a really good work life balance that allows me to have the time I need for myself and my family.  

So the question is why am I still moving forward with my degree?  I think there's some ego coming into play.  With a degree I'll be able to thumb my nose at all of those people that told me that I wouldn't amount to anything.  These same people that wrote me off many years ago when I was way too young to understand what I wanted to do with my life.  I've been harbouring anger and resentment  deep inside my soul for a very long time.  I've had to fight tooth and nail to get where I am right now.  So would this degree legitimize my status in the world?  To myself yes but not to those people because they'll never know.  I think the key here is to let these emotions go.  I need to be better inside my own skin and to be comfortable with who I am and who I've become.

I'm still moving forward with my degree as I want to accomplish this for myself and the betterment of my family.  It's no longer about proving anything to anyone. 

Mr. Repay

Lesson in empathy

The current US elections have absolutely got my blood boiling.  I'm a very passionate fan of politics, probably to my own detriment. However it's something that I'm interested in and will continue to be interested in.  It's no secret that I'm not a Trump fan.  In my personal opinion he's a dangerous autocrat with narcassism at his core.  

I have friends both in Canada and the US that are also extremely passionate about the President and the current state of the US elections.  

Recently I let my ego get the best of me.  I started to "poke" one of my good US friends as I started to see the shift toward Biden yesterday.  What I didn't realize and failed to contemplate was how deeply emotional this election is to him. He's a American, served with distinction in Afghanistan with the US military.  I'm a Canadian who never served in the military.  What I realized is that I had zero empathy.  What I had was my anger toward Trump and his character that blinded me to the empathy that I should have shown to my friend.  

I'm a little ashamed in myself.  I'm ashamed because I know better, I've become better than this.  Our friendship is still strong and I took the time to apologize to him.  Life to me is about learning and growing. I learnt a little bit more about myself.  Empathy is something that I can't just use when it suits me. It's not something that I should push aside when it doesn't suit either.  I have to be mindful more often and that one sentence helps bring it back to the moment, "where am and what am I doing?".

Motivation

This has been on my mind alot.  I've found my motivation to train has taken a dip over the past month.  Not much has changed but not much has changed as well. 

I've found that I have to create my own motivation for most everything in my life. That isn't always easy to do and when I can't find the reasons then mediocrity seeps in.  Early in my training motivation was easier.  Everything was new and exciting.  Stripes marked improvements and belts marked milestones. As I've progresses through the ranks this has slowed down as it should. Being a blue belt is a tough rank. It's the rank where you either push through and progress or you stagnate and and eventually quit. I've a blue belt for a very long time and to be honest it's wearing on me a little.  However, I have faith and belief in myself and in my Sifu's that we both know when I'm ready to move to the next level.  In fact I've approached my training like I am a brown belt.  The physical belt will come when it comes but until then I'm focusing on working on my requirements for I Ho Chuan as well as everything I continue to learn in my regular classes. 

My motivation is to be the best martial artist I can be everyday. As long as I comtiue to keep this as my motivation the rest will take care of itself.  

Mr. Repay

Injuries

Late last week I started feeling "off". I didn't attend Wednesday's class nor did I attend the optional Thursday I Ho Chuan class.  I like attending as many of the virtual classes as possible but sometimes they don't work out and I can't be there. I also understand that to some this isn't acceptable and that we should be attending every class even if it's optional. I tend to disagree on this one but also see the value in attending.

Early Saturday morning I developed a very painful muscle spasm along my left shoulder blade.  It was extremely painful and didn't allow me to attend open training or do much of anything physical this weekend. I needed topical rubs, heat pads and painkillers just to function.  I also got my flu shot and some overdue shots on Saturday. Today (Sunday) I've felt really under the weather and I'm not sure if it's from all of the shots I got this weekend but I'm about ready to be done with these physical set backs.  

What I've been doing is working through my mental side of Kung Fu. I'm blogging, I'm working on my techniques in my mind and writing them down to practise when I start feeling better. I'm working on my University degree and catching up on some assignments. Even when I can't physically train I'm still working on moving forward.  

I look forward to seeing everyone at Monday's class.

Mr. Repay

BreakAThon 2020

This was my first ever event.  To be completely honest, I wasn't excited for it.  I had done board breaks a number of years ago and it didn't go well.  All day leading up to class I was finding all sorts of reasons to not come to class.  I was trying to escape my anxiety and my fear.  

I did get myself together and I did attend the event. I'm very happy that I participated as I had raised money for the event and I had to follow through.  What I realized is that it was a safe environment and no one was pushing me to break outside of my comfort zone.  This is the extremely cool part of SRKF.  No one is pushing thier ego on another person.  It was totally up to me to determine what I was and wasn't comfortable with.  Once I realized that, it was on and I had a blast.  

It was so much fun not only breaking boards and raising money but it was fun holding boards and seeing everyone do an amazing job at thier own comfort level.  

Sometimes I can be my own worst enemy.  I tend to think things are going to be a lot worse than they are. Last night was a perfect example.  I'm happy with pushing myself to go beyond my comfort zone.  This wouldn't have happened in years past so I feel like I've made progress in the right direction.

Mr. Repay 

Privalege, shame & empathy

Privilege has had me thinking about my own life recently.  I was sitting at my kitchen table talking with my wife this past weekend.  I told her that I had to pinch my self.  She looked at me quizzically and asked me what I meant.  In our life we've struggled alot.  We struggled with money, struggled in our realtionship and struggled with life at many times.  Right now, we aren't experiencing any of these struggles and we're pretty comfortable in life.  What I realized is how privileged we are regardless of how we struggled.  We have a great house, food on the table, heat in our house and jobs that allow us to pay our bills.  It made me feel some shame.  The shame eminated from me taking this privilege for granted and then not sharing my privilege with those on need.  

Empathy has become a huge part of who I've become.  But becuase I haven't taken the next step in reaching out and helping those in need I feel some shame.  How can I truly say empathy is a big part of me if I don't live it in every aspect of my life?  It's like saying I'm a Kung Fu martial artist but I don't train?  

I really like this quote by Theodore Roosevelt.  

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Falling back on good habits and engagement.

The past week and bit have seen me lose some momentum. I'm not feeling as motivated as I was a couple of weeks ago.  I'm not doing as many push ups and sit up as I was doing but I'm still doing them.  I'm not tracking my diet as diligently as I should be but I'm still tracking some of it.  My forms aren't getting as much attention as I used to give them but I'm still doing the ones that I enjoy doing. I'm still blogging as much as I used to and this has been key for me.  

I may not be flying as high as I used to be but I haven't crashed the plane either.  It's the engagement and good habits that has me moving forward even if it's just a crawl for now.

Mr. Repay

Kung Fu in real life

A recent blog by one of our Sifu's brought a real life experience back to the front of my mind.  I want to share that experience and share with you how my Kung Fu training played a massive part on how I dealt with it.  

It was two years ago and I was in Pontiac Michigan on a business trip.  I've never been to this city or Michigan before.  When I'm in a new city I like to get out of my hotel and get a chance to your around and see what the city has to offer.  I always have a rental car on these trips but this time I didn't as the meeting was in a hotel close by and there wasn't a need to travel so no rental.  

I've always wanted to try White Castle burgers since that infamous movie came out years ago.  Most cities I go to don't have one but Pontiac did.  I went online and checked out the area on Google Street view to ensure I knew where I was going and what was around that area.  It looked ok to me so I called an Uber and away I went.  Once we got close the Uber driver asked if I was sure this was where I wanted to go which was a little odd.  I confidently said yes and he let me out.  This is where things started to get real for me.  I was still dressed in my business clothes which was a lot over dressed for this neighborhood, I really stood out!  I went in, ordered my food and sat down.  Everyone that came in spent a lot of time looking at me.  I quickly ate and headed out the door.  I wanted to pick up flavoured tabacco for a friend which they don't sell in Canada so I headed across the street to gas station.  Here is where it gets interesting.

As I waited for the light to turn and allow me to cross a very sketchy man approached me.  He asked me if I could spare some money for food.  I reached into my pocket and pulled a significant amount of folded US money.  I started to flip through it to get to the one dollar bills which of course where in the middle.  I gave him two dollars and right then I realized what I just did.  He looked at me, how I was dressed and the money in my hand and basically called me out for only giving him two dollars.  I quickly peeled off a five and walked as quickly as I could across the street.  The whole time I was looking for reflections, to see behind me.  I was thinking about how I can keep everything in front of me.  I instinctively remembered the multiple attacker training I had taken  years ago.  I was looking to keep my back safe against anything that could prevent anyone getting behind me.  I felt my heart rate starting to really climb.  I went in, got what I needed and called an Uber.  The next ten minutes where very nerve wracking.  More and more people where noticing me and there wasn't much I could do about it.  I calmed my breathing, kept my back safe and tried to keep any threat in front of me.  

My Uber arrived to my great relief.  The driver took one look at me and said the following.  "What are you doing down here?  One block in any direction and you would've been shot".  That statement really hit me hard.

However, I stayed fairly calm and my training instinctively kicked in.  Not until I got back and reflected on what happened did I realize how my Kung Fu helped me and I didn't even throw a punch.

Mr. Repay

Work changes

This past week I was informed that I would be reporting to a new person starting in 2021.  I'm excited as the person I'm reporting to has 10+ years with my company and is very well connected in the US.  I'm a little sad that I'm not reporting to my old boss but there are significant changes structurally within the north American business.  

This blog doesn't has a lot to do with King Fu in the obvious ways.  However it has in the un obvious ways.  My Kung Fu training is always with me and I use it all the time.  Not all my Kung Fu is physical and this is the un obvious part.  My ability to control my emotions, use emotional intelligence are all parts of my Kung Fu.

Mr. Repay

One "off day" isn't turning into two.

Yesterday was one of those "off days".  I had an early morning conference call that got me out of my routine.  That routine is get up, have a shower, make breakfast, do my first set of push ups, sit ups, forms etc then off to my office to start my work day.  

Yesterday I didn't make breakfast, skipped my workout and went straight to work.  This was a mistake.  

I noticed throughout the day that becuase I didn't eat when I should have I was getting hungry at the wrong time of the morning.  I grabbed the wrong kind of food to eat and skipped lunch.  By the end of the day I was feeling aweful.  Because of the changed to my diet I can now feel the difference when I eat good food at the right times of the day and crappy food at the wrong times of the day.  

This morning I got up at my regular time, made a really good and nutritious breakfast.  Got to my work out on time and I feel sooooo much better.  Its getting harder and harder to turn one "off day" into two becuase I've now felt how good I feel becuase of the changes I've made.  It was actually shocking how bad I felt just by what I put in my body and not being physically active.  

Mr. Repay

Feeding the ego

This is something that I'm extremely mindful about.  I used to think everything was about me.  I was the best at everything and I needed people's admiration, I craved it and I did things that specifically fed that.  What I'm describing is ego and for my character it is the most deadly.  It shaped who I was and who I was turning into.  It influenced how I acted, what I did and eventually the quality of my relationships.  It's something that I battle to this day.  However becuase of my Kung Fu, my family and my mentors I'm able to keep it in check and in a lot of ways I'm able to starve it.  

I share this becuase there was an instance today that threatened to feed it.  I won't go into the details as by sharing it, I feed it.  Even that little bit is dangerous to me.  

What I did about it was engage with people that I care about.  I asked them for thier input and advise.  What's really cool about that interaction is they didn't say much.  They let me talk and they let me come to my own realization.  That in itself is why I souround myself with the people I do.  They understand me and they let me work my way through to the right conclusion. 

Mr. Repay

Make some noise!

The kwoon is such an amazing place.  It's a place of warmth, acceptance and renewable energy for the spirit.  Becuase of these things I get really excited and my exuberance tends to overflow at times lol!  This Saturday's open training was such a great day.  The people that were there are my friends and my extended family.  At the start of the open training it's sooooooo quiet.  It's like a church service where everyone has thier heads bowed and are especially quiet out of respect for the priest and the church.  

In my church I want to make some noise, I want to release the energy inside.  I want everyone around me to feel what I'm feeling.  The absolute joy of being in the Kwoon with my family.  This is a place where I can let my sound focus out, channel my energy into what I'm doing.  

Mr.Repay

Then end doesn't justify the means in my world.

I don't know even know where to start on this one but it's something that gets my blood pressure rising. 

I just watched the Trump Biden debate and I had to turn it off.  I need to say that right off the start I'm not a Trump fan at all!  I'm not a Trump fan becuase of his character and nothing else.  I perceive his character as a egotistical, pathological liar who is a selfish bully that has racist/bigot ideology with the presidential office serving him personally. 

I've changed who I am over the years with my Kung Fu and the people I train with being a big part of that.  How can you be a SRKF martial artist with out having empathy, compassion and love?  These are things that I see Trump as being completely void of.  People ask me why I don't like Trump?  "He's done so well for the economy, he's created so many jobs and look at how well the stock market is doing".  My response to that is look at the character of the man, look beyond those things and realize how he's done some of them.  Most people I've talked with are 100% willing to look past his ideological views becuase the end results for them as individuals are jobs and the American dream. 

The end justifies the means.

As I get older I can't look past the character of the man who justifies the means for the results.  Do I want a good job, absolutely I do.  Do I want to be able to make sure my family is getting thier slice of the "Canadian Dream"?  Yes I do but now more than ever I ask myself "what's the cost"?  Whats the cost of this in regards to who I cast my vote to support?  My ideals/character and what I personally view as good character is at the top of list.  Down that list is the actual political platform which is obviously important. But it's not as important as the character of the man leading the policies and platform.  

Mr. Repay

Maintaining the momentum

This one is very very important to me.  Those that know me for a number of years know that I used to be a person that jumped into things with both feet.  I also jumped out with both feet.  Becuase of this attitude my life has had massive highs and lows.  This is something that I've worked really hard to change.  I'm not changing who I am but I'm changing how big the highs and lows are. 

I'm in a very very good place right now.  I've implemented changes to my diet, incorporated regular training everyday and my work life is pretty good.  Becuase of this I've become a bit of a control freak.  I'm very very careful who I choose to spend my time with.  I'm careful to make sure that I'm at home at certain times so that I can cook as many meals as possible without eating out.  When I'm eating out I'm very careful of what I choose to eat.  I'm careful to ensure that I share this journey with my wife and kids.  They are a big part of who I am as a husband and a father.  

All of these things are there becuase I want to control this train that I'm on and not let it get back onto the wrong track.  I realize that I can't control life 100% of the time. During those times its about what I choose to do next.  I used to let guilt drive me.  I don't do that anymore.  I use the next opportunity to get back on the right track and use that as positive motivation to keep moving forward.  

Mr. Repay

Connecting the dots

The ability to connect the dots in my Kung Fu has been ellusive until recently.  It wasn't that I didn't want to connect them but rather I looked at them differently.  I would learn something then move on to the next.  I didn't see or understand that what was being taught was something to build on.  

The traingle stepping pattern is a great tecnique but there is so much going on.  I've started to look at what it's trying to teach me.  Whats the lesson?  Why am I learning it and what parts of it can apply to the rest of my Kung Fu?  In the past I used to just see the dots and I'd add them up to see if I had enough of them for my next stripe.  I was focusing on quantity.  Now I'm focusing on the quality and applying it to my Kung Fu.  

What an amazing feeling I got once I connected those first two dots.  

Stubbed my toe but didn't cut off my foot.

I recently had a couple of days where I didn't record my food as diligently and I should of.  I also took an extra day of rest from my physical training.  Normally Sunday is the day of physical rest but this weekend I took both Saturday and Sunday.  On the food recording front, I knew what I was eating but I didn't think I would be able to easily find the way to record it on my app.  I used this as an excuse not to record.  However today I was back on track both food wise and my Kung Fu recording.  It feels amazing to get back at it, recenter myself around my routine that I've developed over the past six weeks.  

I've invested so much into getting the results that I'm seeing to not start again.  I'm motivated to reach my goal in less than a year from now and I'm more motivated than ever to stay on this path.  I've never felt like this before.  I've never felt like I'm doing something special but dang it I am!

My goal is to grade for black belt in 2021.  I used to think that this would extremely scary.  It's scary if I'm not prepared both physically and mentally.  I've started to prepare six weeks ago with using the best tool I know and that's the I Ho Chuan program.  I realized that all I had to do was follow the plan and the it would prepare me for the grading day. I'm slowly seeing the posative results and I want to use the entire year to prepare myself.  I want to get my body beyond the minimum requirements and I want to push my mind beyond what it says my body can handle.

 I'm going to stub my toes like I did this past weekend but I'm not cutting my foot off anymore.

Mr. Repay

Taking my Kung Fu into the world

This is one if not the most important aspects of my Kung Fu.  Since I've started training with SRKF I've felt a deep connection to the school. At first it was all about wanting to learn Kung Fu, learn how to fight and defend myself.  Then I started to really listen, listen to my sifu's and Sifu Brinker. I started to hear about the art, the phylisopical part of SRKF. This hit me deep inside and it was what I was missing in my life.  I was missing that connection, the ability to become a better person.  I was full of ego when I started and it had a very negative impact on my life in many many ways.  Through my many years of training here I've become a better man and I owe it to SRKF.

One of the most important parts of real Kung Fu is how we are outside of the kwoon.  How we act, how we interact with people and we represent our school and community are most important. I'm so proud to share with people that I'm a student of Silent River Kung Fu.  People joke with me about how I can "mess people up" or if they need some protection they know who to call.  I smile back at them and then tell them to keep looking becuase I'm not that person.  

I had a recent conversations with a client of mine that said these things to me.  I took the opportunity to explain that yes I learn the physical aspects of Kung Fu but I don't use them the way he thinks.  I use my training to become a better person, a better husband and a better father.  I explained how I was full of ego before SRKF and how my training has turned me into the person standing in front of you now.  I'm proud of who I've become and I won't stop working to become an even better version of my self.  SRKF has interwoven itself into my DNA and I'm so happy to have the privilege to train here. I do believe that the training must continue when we leave the kwoon.  I have more work to do in this aspect.  Now it's not just good enough to share my experiences but I need to take more action and get more involved with community projects. This is my next evolution of my training.

Mr. Repay

Best Saturday ever.

What a  Saturday! Got to work on my forms and got great feedback on my Boken form from Sifu Lindstrom.  I need to keep working on connecting my harmonies.  Based on the feedback I'm moving my lower body faster than my top.  I've wanted to plant first and then engage my shoulder and "muscle" the technique.  When I focus on my timing the harmony is there and I can feel the power. 

I was watching the candidates do thier board breaks and becuase of my awareness I was seeing the disconnect and it manifested itself in in unbroken boards.  

I was inspired to develop my own four board break.  I picked four techniques that really feel good to me.  I ran them past a few sifus as well as Mr. Kohut and Mr. Thompson who gave some great feedback.  I don't want to wait on developing these and I want to get my board breaks done early in my grading year.  Next steps will be to set up some holders and get a sense of how it will all flow together.  My goal is to do all four and not have to break it down into two seperate ones.

Finally I resurrected a tecnique that Sifu Lindstrom and I did for a demo many years ago.  It's a key lock into a shoulder lock with a takedown into a face strike and a sweeping kick to finish them off as I retreat.

I can't believe how much I got done in under two hours.  I was sooooo missing this training opportunity and what a great bunch of people to share this day with!

Mr. Repay

Shoe horns aren't just for old men.

I've started using this tool when I purchased a new pair of dress shoes for work.  I've realized that in the past I would jam my foot and wiggle it to get my heel into my shoe.  Everytime I did this I broke down the back of the shoe and slowly ruined them.  I saw the shoe horn on the rack of show supplies while I was waiting in line to drop off a letter at Shopper's and decided to buy it and give it a go.  

What I realized the first time I used it was "why haven't I bought one of these sooner?". It wasn't primarily designed to eliminate bending over which is what I thought helped elderly men put on thier shoes easier.  In fact it's a tool designed to help protect the back of my shoes and make putting them on easier, with out damaging them.  

This got me thinking about my Kung Fu.  We're given a lot of tools during our training but I've resisted using them over the years. The I Ho Chuan program is such a valuable tool.  Everything in the program is there to help us become successful but I didn't realize it fully until now.  The program that is helping me change my diet/eating habits and assisting me with weight loss is a tool that is delivering noticable results.  It's not about all about the weight lose, it's about being mindful of what and how much I'm eating which is a life changing event for me.

A lot of that resistance was becuase of ego.  I didn't see the value at the time or I wasn't engaged at the time and it went right past me and I missed the opportunity.  I've finally been able to connect the dots on these tools and I'm seeing the dramatic and posstive effect it's having on my Kung Fu but more importantly on the quality of my life.  

Mr. Repay

Open training Sept 2020

This blog will be about open training this past Saturday.  I'm sure that like everyone else who was there, it was an amazing and extremely valuable two hours.  

The value is in the ability to work on what I want but also to be able to share that time with my fellow students.  These are the times that I learn the most.  The most about my own training but also I get the chance to chat with my fellow students.  Miss Ward and I had a very good chat and it was so nice to be able to just "hang out" with a bunch of like minded people.  

Open training was always one of my favorite days of the week and it continues to be that way.  I got to work on the things I needed extra practise on such as the three directional kicks, Boken form etc etc.  Having Sifu Lindstrom there was great.  We spent many a Saturday together and some of my fondest moments over the years were those Saturdays training with each other.  Even though he was wearing a mask, I could tell that he had a HUGE smile on his face. 

Big thank you to everyone at SRKF for allowing Saturday open training to become possible again.  

Mr. Repay 

Tracking can become addictive.

Logging and tracking my numbers has been something I haven't been consistent enough with.  For the past four weeks I have taken consistent action and have recorded my numbers both with my eating and with my Kung Fu.  

What I can share is that this can become addictive. Watching my number grow is part of it but seeing the transformation to my body is the biggest motivation to me.  Doing 100+ push ups and situps everyday will and has made me stronger.  It's transformed how my body feels and looks and I like that my clothes are fitting better!  

Now that I'm eating better I'm seeing that my mind is clearer, my body had more energy and I recover faster from exercise.  These good feelings coupled with feeling and seeing my body change for the better is making the tracking ever so much more addictive!  

This couldn't have happened if I didn't want to see the change in myself and if I didn't take consistent action.  

I don't normally include quotes in my blogs.  This quote means a lot to me not only because I love Rocky movies but it's very true.  To me it means don't look to far ahead, stay in the moment and take it one step at a time.

"One step. One punch. One round at a time!

Quote by Rocky Balboa from the movie Creed.

Mr. Repay

Feeling some nervousness

I'm not sure why I'm feeling some nervousness but yet I do.  I've made the most progress toward my Kung Fu in years in 2020.  I'm also watching the candidates prepare for the next phase of black belt testing.  I know I'm a long ways away from being where they are but in the same breath I'm catching myself with the realization that I'm wasting valuable time.  This is making me feel like I'm not on the mastery path becuase if I were deadlines wouldn't matter.  This has brought a whole new realization that if I'm going to be ready (whenever that is) I need to be more consistent in my preparation.  I used to like to cram a lot of learning into a short window of time. I used to think I did my best work when I was under immense pressure and stress. This isn't me anymore or it's still me but to a much lesser extent.

I'm taking steps to prepare myself.  I was at the potatoe bake get together and I got to watch the candidates do thier boards break.  Unfortunately it didn't go quite as well as I'm sure they envisioned.  However Sifu Brinker gave some really good feedback on what he saw and recommendations for the next attempt.  I went back to my car and for the first time, I recorded in my notes what he said.  I didn't want to forget or have it go fuzzy before I left the parking lot.  These notes are going to be paramount to me as I prepare for my grading.  

I'm eating better, I'm feeling better and I'm losing some weight. This is incredibly important to my physical condition which is a big part of the grading.  I've eaten things two weekend ago with my wife that I haven't eaten in almost three weeks.  It was a treat and it was a weekend getaway with my wife.  I don't feel bad becuase the very next day I was back on the path eating properly and I'm really happy with it.  Becuase I'm seeing the posstives results, I don't want to go back and start eating poorly again.  I don't actually want to miss a day of recording what I eat and keeping track of the points.  Doing this is sooooo motivating and it's the same motivation I get from recording my I Ho Chuan numbers.

I'm starting to taste the next step and I'm getting excited. I'm excited as I'm starting to see my progression and I'm starting to realize that where I want to be is not that far away.  

Mr. Repay 

Intent with intensity = heart

Love love love this!  What I like is how they work together. Intensity is just busyness with out intent. I can become intense but what good does that do me if I can't funnel that intensity toward the intent of what I'm doing?  This is just "noise" combined with busyness fooling me that I'm doing the right things.  What I need to be doing is getting into the right mindset first then applying the intensity to deliver the desired results.  Sometimes easier said than done but also easily doable as long as I'm in the right mindset or simply in the right moment. 

My dad used to tell me that I needed to increase my intensity when he watched me play hockey as a kid.  I knew what he was talking about but I couldn't apply it becuase I couldn't understand it at that time.  I thought my skill alone would carry me to higher and higher levels, it didn't. What was most noticable to coaches, scouts and parents were the players that played with "heart" or played with a high level of intensity. They stood out on the ice, they got noticed becuase they were always involved in the play.   They simply played in the moment more often and longer than the rest of the players on the ice. 

I've only started to understand this because I believe I'm ready.  My mind is open and I'm understanding what Sifu Brinker talked about at last Thursday's class.  The challenge will be to consistently apply it.  However he gave us the tools, "where am I and what am I doing"?

Mr. Repay 

Not ready but ready

I'm finding that a lot of my journaling this year is fairly philosophical in nature.  I've spent more time than ever this year reflecting on my Kung Fu journey and life in general.  When I look back specifically on my Kung Fu journey I have to laugh at what I remember. About five years ago I got my blue belt and I was flying high with my progression or so I thought at that time.  I may have been putting in the most time I wasn't using that time effectively.  I thought I was ready for the next level but I wasn't.  I wasn't mature enough to understand why I was training.  I thought that if I train four hours a day everything would take of its self and I would be ready for my brown belt.  I didn't slow down to really understand what was being taught.  I didn't look at the finer details or the "why". I just wanted to consumer as much content as possible and I was far from ready for the next level.  

Fast forward to the present and I'm training less than I was five years ago BUT the training is at a higher level.  I've slowed down (mentally) to really think about the "why".  I've let that sink in and I apply the lessons to my personal training outside of the kwoon.  I'm getting to really feel my Kung Fu now. I can feel the six Harmonies when I move, I can start to feel my power like never before.  I've been a blue belt for longer than I can can actually recall.  So long in fact that the glue on my stripes has let go and my stripes are falling off lol!  I'm a ok with that as I wasn't ready to progress to the next level. Seeing those stripes starting to fall off the end of my belt has become a constant reminder. A visual and physical reminder to put the right kind of effort into my training every time I tied my belt on.

Mr. Repay

Mindless eating update

It's been a couple of weeks since I changed my diet.  I'm feeling the benefits to my health already.  I've really reduced my intake of refined sugar, bread and saturated fats from things like bacon etc.  What I'm noticing is that I'm not as bloated as I used to be.  I'm not gassy and I feel more alert.  I'm not a believer in diets and cutting out different types of foods completely.  I'm believer in eating good quality foods in moderation.

Since I started tracking what I'm eating I'm shocked at what a good portion size is Vs what I was eating.  I'm actually staggared by the amount of food I'm was consuming along with the poor quality of it.

Seeing exactly what I'm eating through the tracking app is extremely beneficial. It has the same effect as watching my I Ho Chuan numbers grow.  We talk about the benefit to tracking our numbers and the motivation it provides.  The same thing is happening when I see that I've stayed under my daily, weekly target.  

It is more difficult eating properly on the road but far from impossible.  I used to frequent drive through fast food places for lunch because it was quick and easy.  Now I've changed to going to Save On foods and grabbing thier pre cut fresh fruits with a side of hummus, some sliced salami along with nuts and some cheese.  This type of meal makes me very happy which makes eating better a lot easier.  

I'm feeling the benefits of the choice I've made and because of these noticable benefits it's unlikely that I'm going to allow myself to fall back into the poor eating habits.

Mr. Repay

Dietary Defense and mindless eating

My weight has become concerning to me.  I'm 43 years old and I know that the older I get the harder it's going to be to get back into a healthy weight.  I'm not looking to get back to my mid twenties weight (wouldn't that be awesome!)but rather a more healthy weight. 

I've started to track my eating and I'm using a points system.  What's shocking is exactly how much I'm eating because I'm mindlessly shoving food in my face throughout the day.  Once you apply a point system to food you quickly realize not only the amount I should be eating but what types of food I can eat without racking up a negative points balance. It's also staggering to learn how many "empty" and sugar laddened foods I've been eating. 

So far, I'm struggling to stay within my allowed target but I'm eating way better, more healthy foods this past week.  This is becoming a lifestyle change for me that will need to imbed itself into my mental and physical pysche.

As I become older diet will be so important in my life.  What I put into my body has a direct impact on what I put out into the world.  I want to be here for as long as I can and diet and Kung Fu will help me get there.

Mr.Repay

Everyday is a reset day

Lots of conversation recently about resetting. I've used meetings, classes and blogging to be my "reset button" for my traning and IHC requirements.  I've also realized that every day is an opportunity to reset my training.  Why wait for a blog, class or meeting?  

Last Thursday's IHC meeting was one of the best ones I've attended in a very long time.  There were many reasons but the most important one was seeing everyone in person in the Kwoon.  There's just something very important about being in each other's precence that had a profound effect on my mental state and every levels.  

My training has been up and down but the peaks and valleys have been leveled out Vs prior years IHC years.  I'm struggling with some of my non physical requirements.  I've not prioritized them and not surprisingly they're suffering.  No time like the present to reset on these requirements!

Ian Repay

How it's taught & servant leadership.

This is so important to me, how I'm being taught or how I'm teaching someone.  There is so much that I want to learn in my martial journey and sometimes I can be guilty of wanting quantity over quality.  Recently I've come to realize that how I'm being taught is so important, actually more important than quantity of what's being taught.  

As an instructor or leader I need to be in tune to others mental state.  Are they ready to learn, are they open and willing to accept what I'm teaching?  Everyone is different and everyone is in different mental places.  As that leader, it's up to me to realize this and at times adapt my approach to suit.  

There is a concept called servant leadership.  This is the style of leadership that I employ and gets me very excited.  The definition of this is simply the leader/teacher exists to serve thier students/employees. I feel that the better I am with empathy and understanding the other person the better the leader/teacher I'll become.  In order for this to work I have to have an absence of ego.  There is NO WAY that servant leadership works if it's all about me as the leader/teacher.  

This is kind of a rambling blog but it really encompasses where I am mentally right now.  I'm getting taught the right way and I'm taking opportunities to servantly lead where I can in both my personal and professional life.  I'm pretty happy with where I am right now.  

Mr. Repay

My knee was screaming at me.

I've realized that as I get older I can't ignore what my body is telling me like when I was younger.  Those days of pushing through injuries or pain are well behind me. 

My right knee has been aching and it's been pretty painful for the past month.  I've been doing at lot of open x stances and practicing the opening and closing bow alot, trying to get a deeper stance.  What I didn't realize until I stopped to listen to my body was that I've been torquing my right knee especially on the bow sequence.  The area of issue is after the retreat, I was stepping forward (into an open x with my front right leg) with the twisting action then into the left leading cat stance.  I've realized that instead of rotating my back heel to align my knee properly I was performing my cat stance with my back right foot still in the open x stance.  This was putting a huge amount of stress on my knee causing the swelling and the resulting pain.  

Once I realized this and rotated my heel enough to have a solid cat stance the pain has gone away!

Just another reason for me to keep listening to my body.  If there's pain or something doesn't feel right, I'm steping back and thinking about what I'm doing and why I'm doing it that way.

Mr. Repay

Re energized!

I've felt that over the past week I've refocused and re energized.  What's helped is meeting with my mentor and really opening up about some of things have been bothering me.  That ability to have someone to open up with is so important not only in my Kung Fu but in my life as a whole.  

My training is getting back on track.  I've been finding that I'm not nesicarily dedicating a set time for my Kung Fu but fitting in bits and pieces through out the day.  I've performed 18 temples motions in my kitchen on a whim because I felt like it.  I've performed my forms in a parking lot during my lunch break when I'm traveling for work.  This morning I actually got the hand motion corrected from last night's class in the shower lol!!  I'm thinking about my Kung Fu almost all the time.  I'm thinking about what I learnt in class and I'm going over and over it my head. I'm embracing the spirit of it and I feel like a white belt again.  What I mean is that everything feels new again and when it feels new and exciting I can't get enough.  

One area that I do need to improve upon is the leadership with the I Ho Chuan.  We have a fantastic team but through the pandemic we seem to have lost our voice, our energy and our passion.  It almost feels like we need a unstructured group activity, a bonding of sorts to get everyone jacked up again.  I have some ideas rattling around in my head, just need to act on them!

Mr. Ian Repay 

Engagement

The meeting on Saturday was eye opening for me.  I was silent because everything that was being said, felt like it was said about me. I've been coasting for the past month.  I have been doing the bare minimum and sometimes not even that.  I've retreated into my "closet" and I'm on this journey by myself. All of this can be fixed it's just a matter of making it happen.  I've reflected back on my Kung Fu journey and I've realized that I've been the most successful when I sourounded myself with a group of people that shared the journey with me.  I can recall the competitiveness of the Tuesday San Shou class, the crazy Saturday morning fitness classes and the open training that followed.  I have fond memories of Canada Day demo's, dropping my nu chucks and not dropping them on the bridge.  I can honestly say that I miss those years the most and I haven't been able to re create them since I've been back. Most of those people have become Sifu's and moved on, some never came back as students.  So why is it that I haven't been able to build those same relationships now?  I've concluded that it's my ego and my own resentment of where I currently am with my training.  This is 100% on me and me alone.  In the past I've gone through the ranks with friends that we at the same rank or right around my rank.  We pushed each other to become better, there was a healthy competition and we all thrived.  I want that again, I want to push and be pushed to become better.  I know it's not going to be easy within the world we are living in but it's not impossible either.  I'm reaching out my hand to who ever wants to pick up this journey with me, to push each other and have some fun.

Mr. Ian Repay  

Back to "normal".

Over the past couple of weeks I've experienced our new "normal" and I feel this is going to be the way it is for some time.  I've been locked down to my home office since early March.  It's been a struggle for me as I love traveling and being with my clients.  Some people who've been working steadily and haven't seen a disruption in their work schedule have thought that I've been on a paid three month holiday.  This couldn't have been further from my truth.  You see there is a definite impact on mental health that I feel has impacted me to a certain degree.  I feel that humans are inheritantly sociable and they we need the company of other people.  We need the interaction and touch to stimulate our brains and activate all sorts of chemical reactions in our brain.  When your unable to have these interactions there is a change in your body and mind.  

I've also seen the impact of not being able to train like we used to.  Master Brinker did an amazing job adapting and providing us with the platform to train during this time.  I feel that if it wasn't for this virtual connection I would have retreated further into myself.  

No one can predict what the future is going to hold.  For now I'm going to embrace this new "normal" and keep moving forward.

Mr. Repay

Tiger Challenge 2020 Corona Virus edition

Thank you to Sifu Brinker and all of the SRKF Sifu's that helped maked this possible.  Your vision and passion to see this through is beyond appreicated.

It was amazing to see the students who participated.  I was astounded by how good thier forms have become.  I watched a lot of my fellow students Loa Gar form, which they mostly learned online.  I remember that most of them started learning Loa Gar just before the pandemic shut the kwoon down.  Now to see the same students not only know the whole form but to see them move with flow was amazing!

My hand form I felt was adequate but not great.  I need to continue to practise and hone it through more one on one's.  I also reminded myself that I also just started learning 18 Temple motions before the kwoon shut down so maybe I shouldn't be too hard on myself.  

Some learnings that I want to share about the Tiger challenge.  

- Know your space.  Do your form in the space that you'll be using to be judged in. Do you have enough room?  How's the footing?  Are you too far away from the camera?

- lighting. How's the lighting being picked up by your camera?  If it's too dark or too bright neither is going to be good for the judges to see you.

- Camera.  Know the limitations of your camera both in quality and how wide the angle is.  I saw alot of people go outside of what the camera's angle was able to record.  This obviously  makes it impossible for the Sifu's to see what your doing.

Finally take all of these things into account and record your form ahead of time in the exact conditions your going to judged in.  Watch the recording to see if the lighting is good, do you stay in focus and can the judges see all parts of your form?  I think that this perspective will serve us well even when we're performing in person. 

Mr. Repay

Where and I and what am I doing?

I've been wanting to write about this for some time.

I started to hear about this from Sifu Wiebe a number of years ago.  He talked about it with me and shared that he always internally asked himself this just before bowing in and bowing out.  He said it helped him ground himself and put himself into the moment.  It took me a while to start to incorporate this into my Kung Fu but I've been doing it consitantly at bow in and outs for at least the past three years.  

I started asking myself these questions because I wanted to focus on what I was about to do.  I want 💯% of my mental focus to be on Kung Fu and not what my day has been or what it will be after class.  When we step through the Kwoon doors we're carrying the days baggage with us.  It's understandable that we carried it in with us.  What we shouldn't do is allow it to control us.  By asking these questions we immediately refocus and prioritize what's important.  When I'm in the Kwoon nothing is more important than my training.  I need to forget about what's behind me and what's after class.  When you think about it, I can't fix the past and I don't live in the future so why am I worrying about things I can't change?  That's why this concept is so powerful, it puts us in the moment where we can control things. 

I'm moving to incorporate this strategy into my daily life to go along with some deep meditative breathing.  I've found that when I'm stressed I remember my training.  I take deep cleansing butterfly breaths and bring myself back to the moment.  It helps lower my heart rate and focuses my mind on the moment vs the stress and anxiety of what I think may occur.  

Mr. Repay

Six Harmonies

I've been working hard on flow for the past few months.  This has been something that has eluded my understanding of this concept until recently.  I've started to breakdown my training and understand the "why" for what we're doing.  

An example of this has been the change in Da Mu Sing.  I can start to understand the "pulling" of one tequnique into the other.  In the past I was focused on finishing each tequnique before moving to the next.  I still finish each one but at the last moment I start to flow the transition into the next one.  

This has been really exciting as I'm starting to really feel it and feel the power of what I'm doing.  It feels like I've graduated from kindergarten to grade one lol!  

Mr. Repay

Starting to find my stride again.

The "one on ones" have really helped my Kung Fu but I wish they were an hour Vs ten minutes lol.  A couple of things that have really stuck out was when performing my forms I wasn't finishing the tequnique at the same time as I was setteling into my stance.  By fixing this I feel much more powerful and the flow is improved.  

Another area that needed fixing was my horse stance.  My right knee seemed to always be open and I wasn't squared in my stance.  I don't have an injury rather I think I've been doing it this way for so long that it felt normal.  When I perform forms with a horse stance I'm more mindful of this and pay extra attention so that it can become the new normal for me.  

Finally I've been given feedback that I'm making the forms "my own" which was SUPER COOL to hear.

Even though we're away from the kwoon I feel that I'm getting good value from the current format.  I've traveled so much over my Kung Fu training that being away from the kwoon is tough but may not be as difficult for me as for some people.  I can't wait to get back but it's more about being with my friends and family in an environment that is just awesome for the soul!

Until that time, let's keep moving forward with the current format and make the best of it.

Mr. Repay

Thank-you

I'm feeling much better!  Thanks to my teammates for all the kind words and support.  It's hard reaching out for help but when you have a family that cares so genuinely it warms my heart and soul. 

The meeting on Saturday was so important for me.  I missed the opportunity just to talk and share.  The Thursday classes are good, but in a different way.  I really hope that we continue to meet at least once a month going forward.  

Finally, I feel re energized and ready to start moving forward again.  Thanks to everyone that reached out and picked me up.  

Mr. Repay

Student of Silent River Kung Fu. 

Various ramblings and reflections

I have a really small family and I've recently lost a dear family member to cancer.  I've been reflecting on his death and my own mortality.  Maybe it's the age I'm at combined with his death that has me thinking?  I'm starting to realize that I may have less in front of me that behind.  No one knows how long we have on this earth and I get that.  However it seems that with everything happening in the world right now it's really hitting me.  

Over the past month I've been retreating inside myself.  I've had a hard time reaching out to people that aren't my immediate family.  This isn't normal for me as I'm a very extreverted person or at least I used to think so.  

I know what I need to do and I've been telling myself that I need to get started.  I just haven't been able to do it. Sifu Brinker wrote a recent blog that has been bouncing around in my head.  I've allowed this pandemic to both defined me and revealed who perhaps I really am inside.  

I'm not liking what I'm seeing in the mirror right now.  

Mr. Repay

Student of Silent River Kung Fu 

Adapting to the new norm

I'm enjoying this new world of Kung Fu more than I thought I would.  I wasn't sure how this new way of training was going to work and how valuable it would be to me.  In my line of work I don't have the benefit and luxury of being able to be at the kwoon for every class.  I've had to adapt to training in hotel rooms, meeting rooms etc.  With this online training course this is actually nirvana in some ways as it dovetails really well with the style of training I've had to adapt to over the years.  What's even better is that I get some one on one time to really get some valuable feedback.  I do miss the kwoon and I do miss seeing and working with my classmates but it's going to be what's it going to be.  

Stay safe everyone.

Mr. Repay

Key learnings and positivity

There's some things that I've realized over the past two weeks.  These past two weeks are the first weeks in the pandemic that really had a impact on our families lives.  I've never been restricted by movement or what I can and can't buy.  The only restrictions to movement or purchasing were based on if I could afford it.  That all changed these past two weeks.  I've experienced my own employer telling me that I wasn't allowed to see customers until June.  The government (provincially and federally) has limited where we are allowed to spend time.  They've shut schools, parks, gyms, entertainment places and restaurants.  When I go shopping for food I now see empty shelves and limits on what I can buy.  There's plexiglass barriers in front of the cashiers and lines on the floor keeping people apart.  

These are truly unprecedented times for every single person on earth.  I never once thought this could come Canada or my home town of Stony Plain.  Something like this was what happened in the movies or far away places like China.  But here we are, face to face with a pandemic that has killed tens of thousands and will devestate the global economy like we never seen before. Now before I get to far down this rabbit hole, here's the positives.

1. More time with my family.  More time to spend with my wife and kids.  We're spending it talking with each other at the kitchen table over a meal.  We're playing Domino's and board games and laughing with each other.  We are taking the time to discuss this pandemic and find ways to deal with it as a family.  We're stronger pulling together than on our own.

2. Food waste is going way down.  I'm cooking every single meal at home and I'm watching my fridge very carefully.  I'm planning meals based on what I need to cook first before it spoiles.  I was never this mindful before.  It's resulted in eating better more balanced meals and my fast food intake is WAY DOWN.

3. Cutting unecessary spending.  It's amazing how much money was being wasted.  Lots of $15, $20 amounts add up to a big number at the end of the month.  This pandemic has helped me realize these areas of waste.

4. Debt load.  My family doesn't have a lot of debt and that's by choice.  We don't have a lot of fancy toys or a summer cottage but at times like these I've realized that being unencumbered is a very positive thing.

5. Employment.  So far I'm still employed and I'm extremely grateful for it.  We've recently agreed to take a tempory 20% pay cut for the next few months.  It's tough to accept a pay cut but it's way better than the unemployment line.  

As this pandemic rages on, I'm choosing to focus on the positive.  

My worst nightmare

I'm strugling.  I'm strugling with my Kung Fu, my requirements, my sanity in a world that's so different than anything I've ever experienced.  

For the people that know me, I'm a person that needs social interaction.  My soul, my spirit desires to be around and interacting with people.  I'm doing what our government says we should be doing and that's staying home.  However it's taking it's toll on me.  I'm completely out of sorts right now.  I don't have the motivation to train and work is becoming a struggle.  I've got to find ways to get through this as I feel this is going to be the "new normal" for quite a while yet.  

The I Ho Chuan teaches us to have structure and until this pandemic hit hard I was sticking to my structure fairly well.  I've let the world around me interfere with my world and everything that's important to me.  

I want to very clear here, I'm not looking for tips or advice as I know exactly what I need to do.  I'm writing this because I need to vent so that I can clear my mind and soul and get back to it.  

This pandemic will change our lives in some way forever.  However we have choice on how we let it affect us and lead our lives.  

Stay safe and look after yourselves and your families.  If your able, help those families and people  that can't look after themselves.  

We have the opportunity to become better people, all we have to do is take what we learn in the kwoon out into our community.  This is our opportunity to give back, show empathy help those in need and really share the love of SRKF.  

Mr. Repay

Student Of Silent River Kung Fu

Resentment towards ego

I've started to develop a resentment toward ego both in my self but also in other people.  I've started to look at the people around me like including my friends and colleagues.  When I see or feel ego I have a difficult time trying to explain the exact feelings I feel inside other than I don't like it and I don't want to be around it.  

I've started to also consider how ego plays in my professional life.  I work for an extremely large global company.  It's an amazing company that I'm very happy to be a part of.  But in any organization there's a political game that plays out.  This game has many players and many personalities.  Many future roles are determined through many different metrics.  Most of them are based on current performance as well as skill sets needed for the new role.  However many are decided on the strength of relationships with key people on the ladder above you.  There's an old saying that goes like this, "it's not what you know but who you know".  I realize that to move up in the organization I'm going to have to develop relationships with people that have large ego's.  What's the cost to me and am I willing to pay the price to my own personal beliefs and ego?  

I've found that over the past 10 years of training at SRKF and specially the past couple of years I've changed.  I have become much more humble, less driven by feeding my own personal ego.  So the question becomes "what's the price I'm willing to pay?" followed by "careful what you wish for".

Mr. Ian Repay

Student of Silent River Kung Fu

Training with purpose

I've put purpose into my training this year.  When I'm training, I'm training with a reason and with an end goal in mind.  When I'm practicing my forms I'm thinking about why I'm practising a specific technique.  Why is it here?  What's the purpose?  I'm starting to add opponents into my forms and it's helping me visualize and apply what I'm doing.  I've also started to apply the little tid bits of information that I've been given in class.  Both to the whole class and those given specifically to me.  Recently I performed Loa Gar for Sifu Ryback.  She gave me some very specific feedback that I've started to apply to the form.  I stepped back and thought about why it's there and now I can see the application and the answer to the "why".  

I keep coming back to maturity.  I'm 42 years old, shouldn't I have been mature enough to have understood these concepts years ago?  Why are they only now starting to stick and ressonate with me?  The only answers that I can come up with is that I'm finally ready and willing.  My mind is open, my ego's in check and I've matured enough to understand.  

Mr. Repay

Student of Silent River Kung Fu

This is my journey

This is the first year that I'm really feeling like this is my journey.  I'm no longer comparing myself to the rest of the student body like I had in the past.  I've realized this isn't a race to black belt.  It's the journey to black belt and beyond that's most important to me.  In the past I couldn't care less about the journey, I just wanted to get there.  I've realized that I missed so many important things along the way.  Maturity along with humbleness through failure has allowed me to really focus on my journey.  

I'm embracing a concept called "seek first to understand before being understood". It's helping me develop empathy and patience where in my past I would've interrupted people mid sentence.  I wanted my views or comments to be heard.  This was 100% ego talking.  

I've also realized that my journey isn't completely mine alone.  I share this journey with my friends, my I Ho Chuan team and my family. I'm happy with where I am right now.  I'm happy embracing the journey and I'm going to soak up everything that it has in store for me.

Mr. Repay 

Student of Silent River Kung Fu

Month one in the books

With one month officially over for the year of the Rat I want to take some time to reflect on how it's currently going.

What's working?

- Mentally I'm in the best shape I've ever been in a I Ho Chuan year.  I'm not experiencing too many highs or lows.  I'm approaching this year with a "steady as she goes" approach and I'm liking the results.

- Physically I'm getting stronger.  My back pain has almost disappeared due to the strength I'm building from the physical requirements.

- Online presence is important to me.  I've tried to leave meaningful comments on as many posts and blogs as I can.  This helps me stay engaged with the team and the school.

- Blogging is my absolute strength this year.  In the past it was my weakness.  This year I'm writing as many topics and feelings that enter my mind.  I keep a bunch of them in my draft folder in various states of completion.  Using the Blogger app has been so helpful as I use my mobile phone for almost anything.

- Tracking the numbers.  This is the first year that I've been dilegent in recording everything.  I think this has a lot to do with my sales CRM habits.  I've applied the same attitude toward recording my numbers as I would sales calls.  It's helped so much.

Where am I failing?

- Spanish - I haven't kept up using Duo Lingo to help learn Spanish.  Perhaps Sifu Cosgrove and I can help each other with this?

- Acts of kindness.  I know I do them, I just don't record them.  I need to come up with a way of remembering to record them, anyone have some suggestions?

-Class attendance - this is a tough one as I do travel a lot for work.  Right now I'm on a three week stretch where I haven't been home for more than a couple of days.  Working on my Kung Fu on my own is ok.  It's been better this year than previous years but I still miss the kwoon and my friends.  The Kwoon is a massive battery charger for me.

Finally here are my totals.  I can't recall that I ever posted my totals in past years.  However this is the best way to be accountable for my efforts or lack there of. 

Totals
Push ups 1400
Sit ups 1400
7 hours 20 minutes of Spanish
21 - Loa gar 1
19 - Loa Gar 123
22 - Da Mu Sing 123
6 - Kenpo 123
115 - 18 temple motions
3 - Hung 12
34 - rounds of sparing
1 - Random act of kindness
6 - Bokken form
5km - walked

Sourounding myself with positive people

I've started to see the impact that the people I souround myself have on me.  I didn't think that people could have that much positive and negative impact.  I see now that I only want to souround myself with people that truly care, share the same morals and ethics as me.  I find myself wanting to distance myself from certain people that have a negative attitude.  They bring me down and they don't have any value.  I don't want this to come across as extremely cold but I've realized that my time here is finite.  If I truly want to live the life that I want I need to live it with people that are living the same way as me.  Kung Fu has ingrained it's self into me so deeply that I can't ever unwind it from my soul even of I wanted to.  My wife has seen the positive impact on me as a husband.  My kids see me in a different and better light than ever before.  I owe this all to them and SRKF and the people that I've trained with and train with every day.  You see the people that choose to stay and make king Fu part of thier life are the people I want in my life.

Mr. Ian Repay

Student of Silent River Kung Fu

Emotional Bank Account

I've had this topic in my drafts for a number of weeks.  Today seemed to be the right time to write about it as Mr. Bjorkquist and I had a good conversation about it during open training.  

The concept comes from Stephen Covey.  It's about interactions with people and building relationships.  Consider this, if you spend all of your money before you get paid, do you have anything left until then?  Maybe, what if you have an overdraft.  Let's say you have an overdraft and you keep withdrawthing are you now in a negative balance?  Yes we are and this philosphosy can be applied to realtionships.  Everytime we do what we say,  we make a deposit and increase our balance within that relationship.  Help that person with a project, deposit.  We should always be working toward increasing our balance with people.  But what happens when we don't keep our word or lie for example?  We then have made a withdrawal in that relationship.  Same thing applies when we insult someone, don't show empathy etc.  Do we always know when we're making deposits and withdrawals?  No. There are times, especially when we're not empathetic towards that person they perceive our actions as a withdrawal.  While we saw it as a deposit.  I've found that if I apply mindful empathy then I'm likely to make more deposits than withdraws.  

I love this concept and I'm starting to have it present in my mind every day.

Mr. Repay

Student of Silent River Kung Fu

Martial Art's isn't only about winning in the cage.

I've been watching a lot of YouTube recently as I'm trying to get some ideas for my bokken form.  As you start searching for videos Google gets to start recommending videos it thinks are related.  Some of the suggested videos are titled "why traditional martial arts don't work".  You have a "guy" talking about why the traditional martial arts don't work on the street or in the cage.  He bases all of his arguments on this philosophy which is knocking out or submitting your apponent inside the cage.   He shows how a couple of  "traditional martial artists" are beaten against a MMA fighter.  What he's showing in my opinion is just fighting.  It doesn't show the other intangible benefits of traditional martial arts.  

The traditional martial arts have taught me how to live a better life.  How to reduce my ego.  They've taught me empathy and how to become a better man.  Do I think I can get into a cage and beat a guy who's only trained to punch, kick and grapple but may lack empathy?  No I don't think so and that's ok with me.  I love my traditional Kung Fu training because of the exact opposite of this.  It's not all about kicking and punching, it's about being a well rounded, confident and overall better person.

Mr. Ian Repay

Student of Silent River Kung Fu

Happy New Year, bring on the Rat team!

When it comes to finding inspirations to write about it this is an easy one.  It was an amazing night where two men become our newest Sifu's.  Congratulations to Sifu Sollinger and Sifu Ward.  I had the honour of seeing both of them come through the ranks over the years.  I remember helping teach some classes when Sifu Sollinger came through as an orange belt.  I could see then that he had the desire and mental fortitude to earn his black belt.  

This night was also kind of odd for me.  You see I've been part of the I Ho Chuan team in years past and I was also part of a couple of dragon dances and demo teams.  This year I wasn't as I came back to the school a few months ago.  So to see the demo, the dragon dance and everyone so engaged to make the night what it was, was stunning.  However because I wasn't part of it, I felt a little like an outsider.  I did jump in and organize the serving of the food and this was my way of contributing to the evening and it helped. 

This year is going to bring opportunities to get involved and lead.  I'm excited as we have a strong team of veterans and rookies.  The success of this team will be engagement, leadership and consistency.  We have the tools for success already in our hands.  The success of the team will be how we consistently use the tools, and support each other. 

I'm so excited for this year, bring on the Rat team. 

Mr. Repay

Student of Silent River Kung Fu

Family

Being part of the Rat team for the 2020 I Ho Chuan I've started to reflect upon the importance of my family.  Even though this is my journey, I can't be successful without the support of my family.  In prior years I dove into this journey without much regard to my wife's feelings. I didn't share with her how important this was to me and more importantly why I was on this journey.  As a result there was a lot of resentment from her because of the amount of time I was spending away from her.  

I can't stress enough that this journey MUST include those people with whom you share your life with.  They need to be there to help pick you up when your down and cheer your successes. Going into this year I've shared with my wife what my personal requirements are and why I've decided to undertake this journey. She now understands the "why". 

She's happy for me because she sees how happy it makes me and how Kung Fu has helped me become a better man, husband and father.  

Mr. Repay

Student of Silent River Kung Fu.

Mortality

With the recent passing of Sifu Randy Shipalesky I'm reflecting on my own mortality.  I've taken life for granted as long as I can remember.  It's only recently (past year or two) that I've started to realize that life can end at any moment.  Maybe it's because I'm over 40 and I'm thinking to myself that there's less ahead of me than behind me.  

I've really started to put into perspective what's important to me in my own life.  Some of those things are my children, my wife, my happiness.  What I've also realized that my job, my title at that job and chasing money isn't at the top anymore.  I have a colleauge that when asked the question "what does money mean to you" responded with, slavery.  I was more than surprised with that response but at this point in my life I'm understanding what he means.  By chasing material items that in this world "shows off" your "status" in today's society you become a slave to money.  That used to be me and to a much lesser extent it still is.  However I'm no longer chasing money for those reasons.  

I've come to realize that time spent with the things that mean the most to me will bring me the most satisfaction and love in my life.  It's taken a while to get to this point but it's never too late.

Mr. Repay

Student of Silent River Kung Fu