Taking freedom for granted.

Over the past week and especially over the past three weeks I've thought alot about personal freedom.  It's going on four weeks since the Alberta government restricted who we could see in our houses and outside our house.  As of right now, no one is allowed to come over and spend time with my family either inside our outside of our home.  I'm not going to be discussing why this has happened as everyone knows why.  

What I do want to discuss is how I'm feeling right now.  I'm feeling aweful, period.  I miss seeing my extended family, my close friends.  It's something I need Vs something I want.  Being sociable and interacting with people is such a big part of my positive mental health.  Without it, I'm feeling like I'm beggining to retreat inside myself.  Those darker inner voices are getting louder.  

I've never realized until this happened what a privilege it's been to be a Canadian. I was born and raised here.  I grew up with freedom since day one.  I'm starting to understand what it must be like to live in a country that has oppression and control over its people.  I never understood what it was like to not be able to go where I wanted and see whomever I chose to see.  I'm a little ashamed that I didn't understand this until now but I've never been in a situation that allowed me to experience it.  

I'm learning a lot about myself through these restrictions. I realize that I need to engage in ways that I'm not accustomed to.  I can't drown myself in self pity like I've done over the past couple of weeks.  It's not doing me any good and it's actually driving me to be in places I don't want to be mentally.  I'm also learning not to take my freedoms for granted anymore.  

Like pretty much everyone on this planet, I'm looking forward to 2020 to be in my rear view mirror.  Until then, I'll keep moving forward as best that I can.

Mr. Repay