Feeling some nervousness

I'm not sure why I'm feeling some nervousness but yet I do.  I've made the most progress toward my Kung Fu in years in 2020.  I'm also watching the candidates prepare for the next phase of black belt testing.  I know I'm a long ways away from being where they are but in the same breath I'm catching myself with the realization that I'm wasting valuable time.  This is making me feel like I'm not on the mastery path becuase if I were deadlines wouldn't matter.  This has brought a whole new realization that if I'm going to be ready (whenever that is) I need to be more consistent in my preparation.  I used to like to cram a lot of learning into a short window of time. I used to think I did my best work when I was under immense pressure and stress. This isn't me anymore or it's still me but to a much lesser extent.

I'm taking steps to prepare myself.  I was at the potatoe bake get together and I got to watch the candidates do thier boards break.  Unfortunately it didn't go quite as well as I'm sure they envisioned.  However Sifu Brinker gave some really good feedback on what he saw and recommendations for the next attempt.  I went back to my car and for the first time, I recorded in my notes what he said.  I didn't want to forget or have it go fuzzy before I left the parking lot.  These notes are going to be paramount to me as I prepare for my grading.  

I'm eating better, I'm feeling better and I'm losing some weight. This is incredibly important to my physical condition which is a big part of the grading.  I've eaten things two weekend ago with my wife that I haven't eaten in almost three weeks.  It was a treat and it was a weekend getaway with my wife.  I don't feel bad becuase the very next day I was back on the path eating properly and I'm really happy with it.  Becuase I'm seeing the posstives results, I don't want to go back and start eating poorly again.  I don't actually want to miss a day of recording what I eat and keeping track of the points.  Doing this is sooooo motivating and it's the same motivation I get from recording my I Ho Chuan numbers.

I'm starting to taste the next step and I'm getting excited. I'm excited as I'm starting to see my progression and I'm starting to realize that where I want to be is not that far away.  

Mr. Repay