Year of the sheep

I have been thinking pretty hard on the upcoming year of the sheep.  I'm proud to be part of the team and I'm looking forward to starting a fresh year.  I have been reflecting on this past year a lot.  I have failed in a lot of areas and I can attribute them to attitude and apathy.  I have learnt this year that I need to stay engaged and use the tools that are given to me.  Once I become disengaged I have a very hard time getting back. 

I have developed my personal requirements and look forward to starting the year like we do every year, 1000 push ups and sit ups.  No better way to get engaged for the year of Sheep.

Mr. Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta.

Bruce Lee - No Limits

I came across this excerpt from Bruce Lee's book Art of expressing the human body.  This really reminded me of the I Ho Chuan program.  Pushing past what we think is our limits both mentally and physically. This book is now on my reading list for 2015.

"Bruce Lee had me up to three miles a day, really at a good pace. We’d run the three miles in twenty-one or twenty-two minutes. So this morning he said to me, “We’re going to go five.” I said, “Bruce, I can’t go five. I’m a helluva lot older than you are, and I can’t do five.” He said, “When we get to three, we’ll shift gears and it’s only two more and you’ll do it.” I said, “Okay, hell, I’ll go for it.”

So we get to three, we go into the fourth mile and I’m okay for three or four minutes, and then I really begin to give out. I’m tired, my heart’s pounding, I can’t go any more and so I say to him, “Bruce if I run any more,” – and we’re still running – “if I run any more I’m liable to have a heart attack and die.” He said, “Then die.” It made me so mad that I went the full five miles.

Afterward I went to the shower and then I wanted to talk to him about it. I said, you know, “Why did you say that?”
He said, “Because you might as well be dead. Seriously, if you always put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it’ll spread over into the rest of your life. It’ll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you. A man must constantly exceed his level.”

Art of Expressing The Human Body - by Bruce Lee

Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu

Control

I have come to the realization that I can only control what I can and the rest must be dealt with as best I can.  With that being said I have control over what I spend my time doing both work wise and personal.  Both areas are places where I can make better use of my time.  I choose to control what I want and I have been feeling like I have wasted many opportunities. 

I struggle with motivation most of the times.  I accept mediocrity more than I want to.  I put things off until they can no longer be put off.  I still meet my deadlines but I'm surely not proactive as much as I should be. 

To be honest, I figured I would have been further along with my kung Fu than where I am right now.  But...why should I think that when I haven't put in the consistent effort?  I have been fooling myself by thinking that I "deserve" it.  I don't need to re evaluate what I need to do, I know what needs to be done.  I just need to step up and want to make that change, that change in my life that will move me past where I am and where I want to be.

Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu

Highs and lows and around and around we go.

I just can't seem to get conistent in my training. I'm still experiencing highs and lows.  The last two weeks have been a disaster for me.  I have been away on business for the past two weeks and my training has gone from super high to nothing.  This is completely my fault as its in my power to choose what I want to do with my time.  I feel like I'm stuck in this massive rut.  I have been here for over a year and half.  I make progress then I fall back down.  I just can't get the traction to get past this spot.  I missed the meeting on Saturday and I feel terrible for it.  As a result, I feel like any progress I made has been lost. 

This has been a year of highs and lows when I was focused on eliminating or reducing the frequency and severity of them. What I have learned from the I Ho Chuan is to keep going and never give up.  I'm going to keep moving forward as best I can and take was comes as best as I can.

Mr. Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta

Lion Dancing!

Never ever thought that I would admit it but here it goes.  "I like lion dancing more than dragon dancing".  There you go Sifu Lindstrom, it took a while but I do really like it.

We have been spending our Friday IHC classes lion dancing for the upcoming Chinese New Years celebration.  What I like the most about the lion dancing is the team work involved as well as the individual work that is required.  The dance is going to be amazing because we have such a great group that is having fun together. 

Even though most of the spots on the lion dance team are decided, it would be great to see the rest of the team come out to the Friday classes. Even if you worked on your weapons forms or filled in where you can.  

Have a great week and see everyone on the mats.

Mr. Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta.

Fitness class

What a great day for me.  The fitness class is amazing!  Sifu Masterson has done an unbelievable job with this class.

She asked us for some feedback on what we might want to change since its been a year since she has lead the class.  My answer, NOTHING.  Perhaps like Mr. Sand suggested a little Guns and Roses and more 80's metal :) 

This class has to rank up there as one of my absolute favorite classes to attend.  Its a hard class no doubt but when your done and your basking in the after glow you know that you did something good. 

Mr. Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu.
Stony Plain, Alberta.

What's the lesson?

Sometimes the lesson taught isn't as obvious as we think. I had a great class tonight and the lesson taught was pretty obvious as Sifu Playter explained it to the class.  However what's the lesson that's been tought besides the obvious?  I have been taking the time to think about this more and more.  Looking for the hidden jems in every lesson.  There's a very well known quote or phrase.  "The devils in the details".  This couldn't be more true and makes me think, "what's the lesson"?

Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta.

Doing better

Where am I right now in my training?  Physically I'm not where I want to be.  However I accept the reasons why but continue to push to get better.  I'm very happy that I have started to come back the fitness class on Saturdays and to a lesser extent the San Shou class on Tuesday.  I still struggle with a hectic work travel schedule but it is what it is.  I want to make sure that I'm at as many Friday classes as they are my favorite for sure.

Mentally I'm in a much better place than I have been for quite some time.  I have made some changes in my life that have been very posative and it reflects well on where I am with life and Kung Fu.

Take care everyone and see you on the mats!

Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu

Merry go round of life

Round and round I go and to be honest I never like the merry go round.  I got dizzy and would think "what's the point of this ride"?  You don't go anywhere, you don't do anything, all you do is sit there and watch the world spin around you with every revolution.  As much I didn't like this ride it seems that I have spent way too much time on it.  Watching the world spin by while all I do is sit there.

So when I came to this realization (and I have many time before this) why haven't done anything about it?  Simple answer and the only answer is I'm lazy.  No other explanation that I can think of and no other excuse.

I'm lazy and I don't want to change.  It really is that simple when I think and reflect back.  It's easier to do nothing and accept life as it comes Vs doing something about it.  Why haven't I reached some of my goals in life?  Because I'm too lazy to follow them all the way through and or make the permanent changes in my life that would allow me to reach these goals.  I know that I can do almost anything I put my mind to and I have proven that when I want to change I can make some amazing things happen.  I have seen some of my teammates change their lives for the better and I applaud them for their courage and effort to change.  I look at myself and I say to my self, "that's good enough" and I accept mediocrity because I'm too lazy to put the sustained effort to affect long term change.

The thing is, I know why I am like I am.  I know that I have let my self accept mediocrity in my life as the norm.  What I need is a swift kick in the back side or slap upside my head to "wake me up".  However I know that the only one to do this is myself.  A lifetime of mediocrity is a tough thing to change unless I want it more than anything else.  So now how bad do I want it?

Ian Repay
Student Of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain,

Tiger Challenge

I spent the entire day at the Kwoon for our annual Tiger Challenge.  This year was special for me as I was the tail for the lion dance. Sifu Langer was the head and he did a great job in his first performance!  What a blast it was and I have to admit that it was a huge highlight for me.

The day went by so quickly right from the lion dance to the pizza and snacks at the end!  I must say that this was a great "mental" day for me.  We focus so much of our effort on the physical aspect of the training and at time we forget how important the mental aspects are.  Sihing Tymchuck and I spent a good portion of the day chatting and competing against each other.  I have tons of respect for that man and consider him a true friend.  He gets it, the mental side and we spent some time discussing the day and how it affected us.

Today for me was one of those days that were truly inspiring.  From the very young children that gave it everything they had to the black belts that were awe inspiring to watch.  To feel the energy in the kwoon from the morning to the afternoon was something that I find intoxicating.  Everyone there was putting themselves out there and most were not in their comfort zone.  However everyone who was there embraced the opportunity and will be better for it.

Mr. Ian Repay
Student Of Silent River Kung Fu

Diet & love of food

I have always had a love of food. Up until recently my career was based in the food industry.  Food to me is one of life's pleasures.  To be enjoyed, savored and relished in with good friends and family.  To me it shouldn't be just fuel for the body.  I'm never going to be that person that is so extremely regimented that I would only eat steamed chicken breast with steamed brown rice and raw broccoli, BLECK!!!  I grew up in a house where my mother and both of my grandmothers were excellent cooks and take out or fast foods was a once a month "treat".

I have found as I get older that I need to take a look at what I'm eating.  I have found that my diet is affecting how I feel both mentally and obviously physically.  I do eat more fast food than I would like to admit and mostly because its convenient and also because I like the taste.  I have found that when I take the time to properly plan my meals and cook myself that I feel better because I'm eating better.  As I'm starting to increase my training at the kwoon, I can see a definite coloration between what I eat and how I feel while I'm training and after I'm done.  I have noticed that when I don't eat well, I can't focus well on what is being taught.  I also find that I lack the appropriate amount of energy that would help me perform at the level that I want to be at.

This morning as I write this, I'm enjoying a cup of black espresso and a bowl of hot cooked grains with milk and a touch of brown sugar.  This is my happy place when it comes to breakfast on a Sunday morning.

Mr. Ian Repay
Student Of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta

All about priorities

This is has been a struggle for as long as I can remember.  What is a priority to me?  This kind of comes and goes depending on where I am mentally.  I tend way to often to lower my priorities too much.  I know that I perform the best when I am under immense pressure.  However I think I perform this way because I have left myself no other choice.

When it come to ranking priorities in my life I tend to rank those that have immediate gratification close to the top.  Ones that take too much time to achieve get pushed lower down.  For example, writing my blogs at times seem like a chore and there isn't anything that I can "touch" that will tell me there is gratification for doing this.  It goes back to my current mental state.  Right now, mentally I'm in a good place and I see value in pushing this blog toward the top of my list.  Why is that?  It's because I can "feel" the value of this mentally not only for my self but those of my teammates.  It's kind of hard to explain but this is how I'm currently seeing it.  Secondly, physically I'm getting back to a better place and that helps me mentally.  Yesterday Sifu Lindstom instructed the fitness class and he did a great job pushing me very hard.  I needed it and he didn't let me stop.  I forgot how good it feels when it was all over and your body has that wonderful "tingly" feeling.  I feel mentally better about myself because I'm pushing my body physically to get back to where I want to go.

So all of this is helping me re focus my priorities and I'm pushing my Kung Fu back closer to the top of my priority list.  Now the challenge will be not to let my Kung Fu slide down the priority list, any suggestions?

Mr. Ian Repay
Student Of Silent River Kung Fu

The Journey

We had our monthly I Ho Chuan meeting yesterday and it was great to see everyone again.  Its been almost two months since I have been at the kwoon due to work and its been wearing on me.

We discussed mastery as the path and not so much the destination.  I have always had a difficult time realizing something as abstract as a black belt or building something like a shed or a chicken coup (if you don't believe me come over and see my coup).  I see this very large end goal and I don't see the small ones that mark progress along the way.  I get distracted and disengaged from projects if I can't achieve some level of success along the way. 

With my kung Fu this is exactly the same.  Early on I had lots of success as the knowledge was all new and the belt promotions were closer together.  Now where I am the successes are farther apart and I'm getting distracted and discouraged.  I do look back on where I have been and when I do I become motivated again.  Its just hard to force myself to look behind when I have always looked ahead and to a certain extent been programmed that way. 

I'm working on getting back to enjoying the journey and celebrating the little successes as they come.  I'm now focusing on my next stripe (black) then the next and then my brown belt.  Little by little I'm back on the path and little by little I'm starting to enjoy the journey again.

Mr. Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu

A work in progress

I'm sitting in my hotel room in Fort McMurray and not in the kwoon training.  It seems like such a long time ago that I had any consistency in my training.  It seems all that I can do these days is get a couple of days of training at the kwoon before I'm called away by work. It's not the ideal situation but I'm trying to take it in stride as best that I can. 

I'm looking at this as an opportunity to train differently.  I'm training on my own and am getting my form reps in.  I have even started to run (anyone that knows me knows how I hate this!) every couple of days I to try and get some cardio in.  In the past I would have become very frustrated with this and would be in a very low place.  However this time around this isn't bothering me near as much as it used to.  Now I am looking at things differently, I am looking at the opportunity that is in front of me. 

The one thing that I still struggle with is sharing what I'm doing.  I have a hard time with as I'm a very private person.  I always felt that what I do with my life is for me and me only.  I'm now realizing that my failures and or successes affect those around me such as my family and my team mates.  I am starting to realize that by sharing these things with others is making me a better person.  A work in progress.

Can't wait to see everyone!

Mr. Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu.
Stony Plain, Alberta

Golf & Kung Fu

I was reading Mr. Sands blog regarding golf a couple of weeks ago.  It was an interesting read and this year I have played more golf than I have ever played in the last couple of years.  However this past Friday was the first time that I realized the connection between the two.

First off to be really good at either you need to practice and or train a lot and more importantly consistently.  Secondly both require a large amount of mental training/discipline.  Many times have I said "nine holes aren't enough and 18 is too many.  They need to make a 13 hole course".  The reason that I have said this is not that I'm tired physically but it's the mental side of the game that is hard to maintain through 18 holes of golf.

Finally the last and the most important similarity would have to be the six harmonies.  Shoulders & hips, elbows & knees & hands and feet all are important in both golf and Kung Fu.  I played with a guy that was the same size and make up as me but he could consistently hit the ball far and straighter than me.  What I noticed was how effortlessly he hit the ball.  Some guys use all shoulders and arms when they hit the ball and it's very easy to see.  The guys that can hit the ball far and straight with out too much effort are the ones that are employing the "six harmonies" and most of them don't even know it.

This past Friday was one of those moments when you realize what you are learning in the Kwoon is applicable in other areas of life.  When I slowed my swing down and really focused on the six harmonies the ball traveled farther and straighter and there was much much less touqure in my upper body.  I really noticed that when my hips where moving in harmony with my shoulders that I really felt a nice swing.  It's moments like this, that's gets me more and more excited to keep coming back to the Kwoon!

Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta, Canada.

Lineage

Had a good I Ho Chaun meeting yesterday with the team and our team's mentor's.  Very candid discussions surrounding lineage in the martial arts and what it means to be a black belt.  Not only to be a black belt but to live a black belt life.  My goal is still to attain my black belt and when I do my further goal is to live the life of a SRKF black belt.  Lineage has always been important to me especially in regards to family.  This is how most of us can relate to lineage.  Who is in the family tree is important to me and it represents who came before me.  There are always individuals that are are in the family tree that perhaps we are not the most proud of.  The same can be said in the martial artist lineage.  Whatever your opinion is of these individuals they are still part of who the family is and who the martial artist is.

I am proud to be part of my families lineage as well as SRKF's lineage.

Ian Repay
Student Of Silent River Kung Fu
ianrepay@blogspot.ca

Mumble jumble and everything in between

This is a tough blog to write.  When I joined SRKF I joined because I wanted to get into shape and to become a black belt in kung fu.  When I think back what I thought a black belt was or what it represented is very interesting.  I can honestly tell you that I thought a black belt meant that you could fight and that you had "arrived".  There was ego in my mind when I think back to that time, "look at me, I'm a black belt thus I'm better than you".  Wow has a lot changed in the past four years.

I no longer think that earning a black belt means you have "arrived" rather it means you have reached a starting point.  A starting point for the rest of your life. 

This brings me to where I'm now.  I'm not sure where I am to be completely honest.  I have almost lost faith in what I am trying to achieve.  What I mean by this is that I'm no longer motivated by achieving my kung fu black belt.  I'm no longer wanting to work as I have in the past years to get to that point.  Why is this?  I don't really know and I can't put my finger on it.  However I do think that I haven't fully recovered from my failure last year.  I know that I haven't come to terms with where I am physically and where I was before I left to SC.  They may seem trivial to some but I know how difficult it was to get to that point and what I have to go through again just to get back there.  I know that I have not mentally prepared myself to want to go through that again. 

When I joined SRKF I was looking for a lifestyle, a way to live my life through my martial arts and my kung fu.  For the past four years I have loved this part of the martial arts.  Why now am I feeling like this lifestyle is no longer serving me?  Why am I looking at my kung fu in this way?

So what to do, where do I go from here?  Do I throw away four years of my life and quit?  I attended another school recently just to see what it would be like.  I will share with you that in some ways I liked it better.  In other ways not as much.  I have decided to continue with my kung fu and to see my journey continue.  For how long?  I'm not sure but one thing I am sure of is that I made a commitment to the I Ho Chuan Team.  There is no quitting the team and I refuse to break that commitment.  If there is only one thing that I can say that I achieved this year then I can at least say that I didn't quit.

I want to ask something of my team, if you don't hear from me or see me please reach out to me.  I will do the same for you.  It means a lot to know that the team still wants you as a team mate.

Ian Repay
Student Of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta, Canada
ianrepay@blogspot.com

Refusal

I refuse to write about my failure.  Ever week I could write about this as all I have done this year in my Kung Fu is fail. 

On a very positive note, my personal life is very good.  Busy with work but I'm enjoying what I'm doing.  Personal relationships are better than ever and I am very happy to have found the balance in this aspect of my life.

In regards to my training, it is what it is.  I am done with getting down on my self for not attending classes.  It is what it is and I refuse to mentaly barrage my self anymore.  I will get to as many classes as I can when I can.  I'm in a pretty happy spot right now in my life and I'm going to enjoy the ride.  Kung Fu is a big part of that.  Howevever I won't be sacrificing my happiness for anything.  This may sound like I'm being selfish but I don't care, I need to look after me and what matters most in my life.  This may take me away from the kwoon for extended periods.  I will do my best to be at the kwoon as much as I can.

Mr. Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu

Kwoon renovations

Very soon we are going to start the renovations to the kwoon.  I always look forward to this part of the year.  It not only makes the kwoon look neat and tidy but in some years the kwoon looked very different after we were finished!

Some of the best things about renovation week is the time spent with my training mates (sifu's included).  Its an awesome day to have a ton of fun with each other and find out a little bit more about each other.  This past year we had a blast and some grout founds it way on a bunch of us instead of the wall!  Its all part of the fun and its a great way to get things done even if it take a little more scrubbing to get the extra grout off the tiles :)

The other part I really like is the ownership aspect. We all have left sweat and blood on the mats during our training.  By committing like we do during training, leaves a sense of ownership and connection to the kwoon.  By participating in the renovations the same deep connection is built.  I know that when I see the men's shower stall that I had a hand in grouting those tiles with Mr. Smid and Sifu Ryback.  I know when I look up at the ceiling that I put on the 200th coat of paint on it.  Its that sense of ownership that is such a big part of my training and my connection to the kwoon.

I encourage all students to come out and lend a hand. It doesn't have to be days or hours, it can be minutes.  Just come out and make your mark durring renovation week. I assure you that you won't regret it.

Mr. Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta, Canada
ian.repay@blogspot.com

Canada Day

This past Canada Day I was witness to a very special ceremony.  It was the first time I have ever witnessed a citizenship ceremony.  Being born in Canada I have taken for granted more than once my citizenship.  I have never know war, bigotry, corrupt police etc.  I have grown up in a country that embraces foreign cultures and beliefs.  We welcome people from all walks of life and from all countries around the world.  All we ask is they learn our official languages, obey our laws and swear allegiance to the Queen of England.  By the looks of these new Canadian's faces, this wouldn't be a problem.

I was moved by the ceremony and was so glad that I got to witness it.  It got me thinking who in my family stood up and took the oath to become a Canadian?

Mr. Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu.
Stony Plain, Alberta Canada.

Why am I doing this?

This is a question that has been in my mind for some time.  Why am I training in Kung Fu?  Why am I a part of the I Ho Chuan team?  Lately I'm not sure what the answer is for either one.  I know that I have struggled and continue to struggle with big highs and big lows.  I know exactly when this current "low" started.  It was the day of the demo.  It was exactly the moment when I dropped my chuck so early on in my form.  At that very moment I was devastated...  I never recovered...  The very next day I had to get on a plane and fly to Montreal for the next week.  Being away didn't allow me the opportunity to get right back at it.  I let the time away in Montreal get the best of me.  I allowed myself to let defeat and disappointment take over.  The crazy thing is that it was easy....easy to let it take over and I did nothing to over come it.  The last three weeks have been the same for me.  I have been busy with work and I have been busy avoiding the kwoon.  I have been avoiding the people that I feel I let down.  I was picked to be part of the demo that day and I didn't perform.  I have been struggling with this and I have been way too silent.  I have been hiding and avoiding the people that I need and who need me.

Then I read Sifu Ryback’s latest blog and it sort of shook me up.  She’s absolutely right, our team is almost like a house of cards.  There are some strong cards on the bottom but there are so many cards that can’t support themselves let alone the rest of the house.

I'm not proud this and there is only one thing that I can do and that's get back to class and get back to training.  I have failed miserably personally this year and most disturbing is how badly I have let the team down. 

Mr. Repay
Student Of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta
ian.repay@blogspot.com

Happiness

I have reflected on this for some time.  What is happiness?  What really makes me happy?  Other than the obvious which is my family this is a hard one for me to nail down.

Does kung Fu make me happy?  Yes it does but it also makes me sad, angry, jubilant and most every other emotion that I can think of.  

So what makes me happy?  The answer to this has changed considerably as the years pass.  What once did it for me is no longer.  My perspective has changed and with it what makes me happy.  Now some of the most simplest things seem have the greatest effect on my happiness.  Talking time to rest and "smell the roses" is having the most impact on me.  No longer am looking to things that I don't have to bring me happiness.  In taking the time to enjoy the little things and not get down on my self for the "small things".

I'm happy and I can't really tell you why :)

Mr. Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu.

Demo - personal dissapointment

This past Saturday we did the Stony parade and then a demo performance.  The parade was awesome and the demo looked great except for my part.  I dropped one of my chucks early on in the form and I was devestated.  I have been working hard on the form and have made it all the way through many times at the kwoon and on my own.  But when it comes time to represent the team and school I mess up.  I am going to admit that my confidence is shaken.  I know that I have to push through it and keep going.  I just have this feeling like I am dissapointing my sifu's the team and the school.  I was chosen to perform in the demo based on what the form looked like.  Yet when its time to show the public I choked.

So very frustrating and dissapointing.

Mr. Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu.
Stony Plain, Alberta.

Pandamonium & engagement

This past Saturday was our annual Pandamonium.  It was a great time to spend at the kwoon with all of the students, Sifu's and Sihings.  I always come away with a renewed sense of purpose and motivation.  It's hard not to when you show up at a place where everyone believes in the cause and wants to make positive change.

I managed to spend 8 hours at the kwoon this year.  This down from previous years commitments but it was for a reason.  I am currently in Vancouver ready to deliver a presentation that I have poured countless days of work into.  I have to balance both commitments and lives.  I would have loved to be there for the full 24 hours.  However I am positive that I would not be on my best for the presentation today.  Do I feel guilty about this?  No, not at all.  In fact I feel extra motivated that I was a part of something very special for as long as I was there.  I was engaged the whole time I was there and I feel that being engaged for 8 hours is better than being there for 24 hours and only partially being engaged. 

To me there is no right or wrong as long we are participating, raising awareness for why we are doing what we are doing and most importantly are engaged in what we are doing.

Mr. Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu.
Stony Plain, Alberta, Canada

Attitude

I have come to the realization that attitude is everything.  I'm pretty sure that I have know this for a long time, however I never really understood this.  Attitude is a very powerful thing, it can enable or disable a persons willingness to do things.  Your mind controls your body and as a result the frame of mind that you are in will have a huge impact on how your body responds.

I have had an ongoing struggle with attitude as long as I can remember.  My parents struggled with me when I was growing up.  My teachers would always say top them things like "he has so much potential if only he would apply himself".  This statement has never left me, and is a direct response to my attitude.  I can't explain why I'm like this?  I wish I could put a finger on something solid that I could grasp and hold onto.  However this isn't something that I can physically touch rather it's something abstract.  It's something that I need to constantly work on as when I have the right attitude there isn't much that I can't accomplish.

This past week, I looked myself in the mirror and realized that I needed to stop making excuses for myself.  My attitude and Kung Fu have sucked since last year.  I was on a very big high when I left for South Carolina.  My requirements were ahead, my training was going so good and I had three demo's in the bag by mid July.  I was on track to have a phenomenal I Ho Chuan year.  However I couldn't keep the pace going while I was gone.  My training came to a skidding halt and with that along went my attitude.  I was so upset with myself for letting all of my hard work go to pot.  I had gained a significant amount of weight along the way and I became out of shape.  I had to work so hard to get in great shape and to lose it in a matter of three months was devastating to me.  As a result of all of this, I got upset and angry with the process.  I surmised that the program was the issue and all it was, was a bunch of hoops to jump through. I didn't bother to look at myself and questions myself as what the real issue was.  The real issue wasn't the program as much as it was my attitude toward the process.

I still struggle and will always struggle with attitude.  There are many times when I prioritize things in the wrong order.  Not because because I'm lazy  or disorganized.  I just don't see them as important as other things.  This is a result of where my attitude is at that moment. 

Mr. Ian Repay
Student Of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta, Canada

Diet Day 11

Breakfast

Refrigerator oatmeal with Strawberries.
Cup of black coffee

Lunch

Double teen burger with root beer and onion rings.

Supper

Prime rib supper at the AMTA Gala evening.  Two spicy ceasars.

Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu

Diet day 9

Breakfast

Bowl of steel cut oats with raisins, apples and some milk.  A large black coffee and two glasses of detox water.

Lunch

Peanut butter and honey sandwich.  Two glasses of detox water.

Early supper be for going to Calgary.

Grilled all beef burger made at home.  Glass of detox water.

Late supper

Tim Horton's Italian s andwhich and a water.

Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta.

Diet day 8

Breakfast

Bowl of homemade steel cut oats with apples and raisins.  Two glasses of detox water.

Lunch

grilled tri tip steak
Two glasses of detox water
Two servings of chips.

Supper

Bowl of quinoa with onions.
Half a cucumber
Two glasses of detox water.

Snacks
Peanut butter and honey s andwhich
Four Lindt choc truffles

Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu.

Diet day 7

Breakfast

Bowl of steel cut oats with maple syrup.

Lunch
Choc protein shake after fitness class and open training.

Supper
Two pan seared pork loin cutlets
Serving of steamed jasmine brown rice
Some homemade pickles
Four glasses of homemade detox water

Snack

Bacon flavoured potatoes chips (two servings)
Nutriti grain bar
Sunrype just fruit and fibre bar

Three reps of nunchucks form
Four reps of kenpo 123
140 sit ups
150 push ups

Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta

Diet day 6

Breakfast

Two pieces of homemade french toast
One cup of black coffee.

Lunch

One turkey sandwich.
Piece of left over pizza.

Supper

Turkey sandwich
glass of water.
Piece of fried chicken.

Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta.

Diet day 5

Breakfast

Two slices of whole grain toast, two eggs and three slices of bacon.
One cup of black coffee.

Lunch

Two sandwiches with turkey and mayo.
Side of pickles
Side of fresh salad with Tex mex dressing
Glass of white wine

Snack

One scoop of ice cream in a waffle cone
A small piece of magic square and a half can of soda. (Not my finest moment for snack choices)

Supper

Two pieces of the best pizza in the world from Nello's in Mesa Arizona.  Really it's "slap ya moma in the mouth" good lol!
Small glass of RC Cola (haven't had it in years)

After writing this journal and reflecting on what I ate it doesn't surprise me that I need to make changes.  However this is holidays for me and I don't normally eat like this everyday.  I do realize how easy it is to eat poorly. 

I read that through evolution our bodies did not easily come by the big three in abundance.  These three are "sugar, salt and fat".  Think back less than a hundred years ago and these products where not readily available and if they were they were very expensive for most people.  These three things are very addictive to most people and our food is full of them now more than ever before.  We become addicted to them and crave them when we reduce the amount in our diet. 

There have been huge lobbying by the sugar industry here in the US.  This lobby group is very strong and in fact uses the tobacco play book from years gone by.

The amount of refined sugar that is "hidding" in our food is ridiculous!   Refined corn sugar and in particular high fructose corn sugar is almost in everything we eat that has been processed.  The corn sugar industry is a juggernaut lobbying group.  They spend more in lobbying the US government than most countries spend on defense. 

Enough of my ranting for one night.

Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu.
Stony Plain, Alberta.

Diet day 4

Breakfast

Two english muffins with jam.
One cup of black coffee.

Lunch

Plate of Chinese food.
Fresh pineapple and lime juice smoothie.

Supper

One piece of fried chicken
One fresh tomatoe, half of a fresh cucumber and one fresh radish.
One bottle of light beer.
Two glasses of water.

3 reps Kenpo 123
3 reps of Lau Gar

Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta

Diet day 3

Breakfast

Bowl of steel cut oats
Slice of while grain toast
Toasted English muffin with jam

Lunch
Plate of smoked brisket with coleslaw and baked beans

Supper
Grilled chicken breast
Steamed rice
Steamed peas
Glass of red wine
Slice of pie and ice cream.

Mr. Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu

Diet date 2

Breakfast

Large black coffee
Two Dunkin Donuts - never had them before and always wanted to try them.
Egg white and sausage wrap.

Lunch
Toasted English muffin with jam and butter.
Two glasses of water
Bowl of braised cabbage.

Supper
Two hotdogs
Bowl of braised cabbage
Side of baked beans
Glass of wine.

4 reps of Kenpo 123
2 reps of Da mu sing
3 reps of long 1&2
2 reps of hung 1&2

Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu

Diet & weight

These two are linked together.  I have never really struggled with my weight before.  However after my three months in South Carolina I have struggled to lose the pounds that I did put on there.  Stress and eating poorly along with limited exercise was the reason for the weight gain. 

I have tried to improve my diet since being home and it has improved quite a bit but there is lots of room for improvememt.  The frustrating part is how quick my body got of shape and how hard it is to get back into shape.  The older I am getting the harder its becoming to stay in shape if my diet is poor. 

This is why I am writing this blog today.  I need to become more accountable for what I am eating.  The only way that I think I can do this is to publicly announce what I have eaten everyday.  So starting today with this blog I am going to publicly share what I have eaten.  I am going to do this until the end of April.

Breakfast

One chocolate croissant
Half a cup of black coffee

Lunch (went to Cracker Barrel rest)

Two eggs with ham, two biscuits with some gravy, baked apples, two glasses of sweet tea and some apple dumplings with ice cream.  Wow I didn't realize I ate that much for lunch!!

Supper

Baked cabbage with pulled pork, fresh salad and two glasses of water.  One light beer.

Ian Repay
Student of Silent Kung Fu
Stony Pkain , Alberta, Canada

Holidays

Writing this one from my phone so it won't be that long.  On holidays down south and I'm really enjoying the break from winter.  Its nice to be able to go out in shorts and sandals all day everyday with the temperature around plus 30 and sunny every single day. 

However it makes it tough to stay focused on my requirements.  I havent kept up on my form reps while I have been down here and to be honest neither have my push up and sit ups.  I still have not fully accepted this process as a tool vs a hoop.  I believe in this process more than I ever have before but still I fall off the path...  Also I have a hard time doing my forms in a public place where people may be watching.  I don't want to draw attention to myself and I get embarrassed even though I know the forms look good and most people wouldn't even watch.

Well lots to work on but for now it time to go and head down to the bbq and beer festival for some great eats and drinks.

Mr. Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta Canada

Mornings

I have been struggling with getting my requirements done every day.  I try to leave it to the last thing in the day and or try to get them done during class.  This wasn't working.  I know Master Brinker talked to us about getting up in the morning and getting them done but I didn't put much thought into that.

One morning on the way to work I heard on the radio a gentleman talking about "morning miracles" and I listened how he explained everything that Master Brinker has been saying.  Perhaps both of them talking in my head helped but I thought I would give this a try.  I have been getting up an hour earlier and have been getting in all of my pushup and situps along with my hand form reps and my weapon form.  What I can tell you is that there is a great feeling of accomplishment once I have them done.  Also I am way more energized and focused in the morning.  Not so much that fog that has to be cleared with a coffee thing going on.

I am going to keep going with this routine as I like the results and how it makes me feel.  I think this is the key, if you like the results and how it makes you feel you are more than likely going to keep doing it.

Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta, Canada

Recording the numbers

This has been and still continues to be a problem for me.  Not sure why this is and why I don't record the numbers.  Is it because I have not found a new piece of technology that will help?  A new "app" that will magically read my mind and record the numbers for me?

No, it's because I'm lazy in this regard.  I am doing my requirements for the most part and I am engaged in the process.  However I just don't seem to give this the importance that it deserves.  It's almost like "I will get to it later" and I'm ok with this even though I know this isn't right..  In the beginning of this I Ho Chuan I was really good then I missed a couple of days and the wheels fell off.  I know that I am better than this and yet I can't bring myself to get back to recording the numbers.  I will have to find another way.

Today is a new day and today I am recording my numbers.  So far today I have done the following, have some work to do today before I go to sleep.

0 push ups
0 sit ups
0 form reps
0 RAKS

Ian Repay

Student of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta Canada
ianrepay@blogspot.com

New weapon, kind of.

I have been working with and practicing with nunchucks for the past three years.  I started out with a single foam chuck then progressed to a foam covered wooden stick chuck then to a live wooden chuck then ultimately two live wooden chucks.  My progression has been good and I have come accustom to using nunchucks with chains and ball bearing swivels.  However I have never found a pair of nunchucks that I was totally happy with.  Some had handles that I felt where too thick some where too heavy, some felt unbalanced etc.  I also didn't like how the chain wrapped around my hand and torqued my wrist at times.

Then I stumbled across Master Lee Barden and his Prochux.  Master Barden hand makes each set of chucks and the craftsmanship is outstanding.  However these Prochux are very different in that they don't have chain and ball bearing swivels.  They have a one inch length of cord attaching the two sticks.  As a result the balance of the Prochux is very very different that what I'm used to.  In fact they feel like a brand new weapon that I have to learn how to use all over agin.  What I love about them is how they feel in my hand.  The sticks are octagon in shape, they are the perfect diameter for my hand.  They also feel incredibly balanced (once I learned where the balancing point was) and a sheer joy to use.  What I like about them also is that because there are no chain and ball bearing swivel that the weapon is connected from one stick to the other.  This means that when I spin and roll them I feel the other end more than I ever have.

It is going to take some time to get them where I was with the other chux's, but this is a pair of chux that I am going to base all of my forms and learning around.


Ian Repay

Student of Silent River Kung Fu
ianrepay.blogspot.com
www.silentriverkungfu.com

Third degree brown belt & teaching

I want to publicly announce my goal to achieve my third degree brown belt by June 1st of this year.  This has been a goal that I have had since the start of last year.  With my training in South Carolina and my struggles when I got back I was unable to realize this goal.  However listening to Sifu Brinker talk with the team last Saturday and Mr. Fuhr's goal I felt it was time to set my goal in stone by announcing it publicly.  I have struggled with doing this and spoke with Sifu Playter this past week.  I decided that in order to reach my goal I have to put a date to it and announce it to the world.  These two things will hold me accountable and help motivate me to reaching that goal.

I am asking my team mates to help me by looking at my forms, my techniques and where I am right now.  Help me by being brutally honest when I am right now and what I need to improve on in order to achieve my goal.

Teaching - I have been allowed to help teach some some portions of the white/yellow belt class in the evenings.  I really really enjoy doing this!  Not only is it fun to get in front of the students and help them grow in their Kung Fu it helps me re learn some things that I have forgotten.  I welcome more opportunities to teach and would encourage others to come to these classes and lend a hand.  I know as a student, getting instruction from many different people has helped me learn in ways that I couldn't have from one single instructor.Both the students and the teachers benefit greatly.   

Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta, Canada

Shan Shou class last night.

Last night we had a great turn out for the Shan Shou class.  It was so great to see so many people including Miss Gibbons!  Sifu Lindstrom ran a great class and I learnt a lot from it.  I really like the new format of class as it promotes learning more so than winning at all costs like in the past.

I hope more students come out to class as they would see huge improvement to their sparring abilities and confidence.

Ian Repay

Chinese New Years Banquet

Wow what a great evening last night!  Last night was the culmination of a whole year of training.  The whole school comes together on Chinese New Year to celebrate the past years accomplishments. It was truly inspiring to witness the promotions of both Sihing Czilag and Sihing Langer.  I have known both of these men for the better part of four years.  I have watched and helped them (in a very small way) on their journey to get their black belt.  I have seen the struggles both have gone through but they have persevered and got to where I want to be. It was very cool to see the current black belts get their next degrees.  Over the past year I have gotten to know them in a way that would have been impossible without the I Ho Chuan.  I have great respect for them and have developed great friendships because of the team.  So congrats to Sifu Tiffany Playter, Sifu Beckett, Sifu Wetter & Sifu Bryant.  You all are amazing people and we are so fortunate to have you as leaders within the school.

This year was the first year that I was very involved with the Chinese New Years dragon/lion dance as well as the demo and the black belt candidates performance.  It was a lot of hard work and a ton of commitment but it was so worth it.  In the past I helped out as much as I could with the set up and preparations of the banquet hall.  But this year was sooooooo much better.  Looking back only a couple of months I can clearly remember that we didn't have the dragon dance figured out.  In fact we didn't have a dragon dance at all.  In only two short months we pulled together the very best dance I think the school has ever done.  That is a testament to everyone who came out and committed to it. The demo looked AWESOME!  Everyone worked so hard on their piece and you could see that it paid off.  I think everyone that was watching the performances of all the demos could see the commitment that every student gave.  I was amazed at the skill of the younger kids classes.  I was watching them from the sidelines with other team members and we all were amazed at how good the kids skill level was.  You could see that the kids and the instructors really worked hard to get ready for last night and I must congratulate them all for an amazing performance.

Waking up and reflecting upon last night has motivated me and inspired me.  I am looking forward to the year of the Horse and spending a great year with some very amazing people.

Ian Repay
Student Of Silent River Kung Fu.
Stony Plain, Alberta, Canada

Snake team - Final post

This upcoming week is officially the last week for the Snake team.  When I look back on the year I see some very big highs and some lows.  My first half of the year was fantastic.  I had a lot of momentum and my kung fu was was getting better and better.  By July I had three demos in the book and I was flying high.  Then came a turn for my training.  I took a new job and was required to spend three months in South Carolina.  This is when my training took a nose dive.  I was doing pretty good for the first month down there.  I was keeping up with the basic requirements.  However as the pressure mounted from my training I turned away from my kung fu instead of embracing it and using it to help me.  I came back to Kwoon in mid October and I felt a big disconnect, I felt it very difficult to get back to my training and fit back in with the team.  I even felt like quitting at my lowest point.  What helped me overcome that was talking with the team and in particular Sihing Tymchuck, Sihing Chervenka and Mr. Fuhr.  We had some open and frank conversations that helped me realize that I should continue on and keep pushing.  Without these team members pulling me along I think I may not be here training at the Kwoon right now.  I can't stress enough how important the team is to each other, we have to be there and support each other in order for the team to be successful.

So has the team and myself had a successful year?  I think the team has succeeded, we pulled together and did some great demos, organized some great events and really gelled as a team in the end.  Did I succeed this past year?  Overall no I didn't.  I didn't come close to meeting my numbers, I didn't achieve some of my personal requirements.  But I did succeed in realizing finally that the I Ho Chuan is a tool and not a hoop.  I realized for the first time that this year has been about mastery.  I realized that in order to keep improving my kung fu but more importantly myself, then I have to accept the process for what is.  It is a tool that when approached with the right attitude and outlook is there to sharpen and hone our skills not only as martial artists but more importantly as genuine human beings.

This year I failed in reaching my "numbers" but I succeeded in realizing where the path toward mastery is and how to use the I Ho Chuan as tool for success.  I am looking forward to year of the Horse.  We have a great team assembled and I can't wait to get started.

Mr. Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu.
Stony Plain, Albert, Canada.

I hate getting thrown

I have never admitted this to anyone and I think most people can empathize with me but I hate getting thrown.  I know and understand that this is a integral part of our style and most martial arts or self defense in general but I really don't like it.  I have never been very good at tumbling or falling.  I have improved a lot since I started but that feeling of being out of control and falling is terrifying to me.  Maybe its my fear of heights, I don't know but this part of my training is very difficult for me. 

Can anyone relate?

Mr. Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta.

Under the weather

With Chinese New Year so close this is a terrible time to get sick.  However I have been battling a cold for the past couple of weeks and now it has caught up with me this weekend.  It sucks as the dragon dance team is relying on me and I have let them down by not being able to practice this past Saturday.  I have taken the time to rest this past weekend and I hope to be back to training this week.

Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu