That crazy center line & A ha!

 During the weekly brown belt meeting a great question was posed by Mr. Bjorkquist about the Long form.  Master Brinker took some time to address this and the way he described the center line and how he moves keeping his center line protected was an "a ha" moment for me.  

I've thought about the center line many times over my training and I know where it is.  What I didn't realize was how I was moving in relation to my center line.  I've been crossing over my center line with blocks, over rotating on kicks and not being overly aware of where my center line is.  The really cool thing about being aware of of my center line is the six harmonies that come into play.  By keeping my center line secure, I'm moving more of my body and I'm feeling the connection with the harmonies and with the ground.  I'm feeling more secure and more connected with my body and the ground, it's hard at times to describe what I'm feeling but I feel way better .

It's a really cool feeling that I wished I felt earlier in my training.  

Mr. Repay

Any road won't get you where you want to go.

 I realized that for a lot of my life I used to sort of float along in the wind, content to go where the wind blew in certain aspects of my life.  I'm not a person that embraces structure even though I see the benefit of it.  Way back when I started baking and managing a bakery there was this boss that was all about structure.  I remember when he would come into my bakery asked me "Ian, where's your list?"  This listed all the things I needed to get made for the day in priority from top to bottom.  Needless to say I rarely had a list and if I did it wasn't prioritized.  I fought against this as I felt I didn't need one, I knew what needed to get done and I would make it happen.  Thinking back on this, it my ego that was running my life and it wasn't about to be ruled by a list.

I've realized that if I want to be successful in my personal or professional life I will need to make a few "lists".  This isn't always about making a list but more it talks about adding some structure to my life.  I can't earn my black belt just by floating on the breeze, it just won't happen.  I remember that Sifu Brinker said that black belts are "control freaks".  They want to control almost every aspect of their lives and this comes from the adaptation of structure.  

This morning a group of us candidates got together on Zoom to run through the kick portion of the grading test.  I must say, I wasn’t looking forward to it and in my mind I was looking for excuses to not participate.  I have this bad habit of thinking the worst which is a departure from my mostly positive attitude.  I am very thankful I took part because I did better than I thought I would.  I even got my wife to come and participate by holding the bag and helping keep count.  Having her there was sooooooo important to me as she is my support and motivation to keep going when I don’t want to.  

Because of today I now have a “baseline” for where I am with my kicks. I’m a data nerd so I’ve already made a spreadsheet with way too many columns just to see the data as I want to see it.  I might even make a pivot table which is WAYYYYYY too much but that’s just me.  This brings me back to the start of the blog, I now have a list of things that I need to accomplish every day and I’m consistently logging those numbers.  I can’t be successful in life or in Kung Fu by just floating in the wind.  I feel that this structure has changed my life for the better and I just need keep bringing out the inner control freak.

Mr. Repay

Consistent Action

Seems simple enough.  So why do I overcomplicate this so much?  It should be as simple as doing something every day.  It doesn't have to be structured in such a way that it has to happen at the same time and place.  Sure this may make it easier and I've seen this benefit in my training. In my line of work this isn't possible.  So because of this and our virtual environment it should make it easier to take consistent action.  Nope, because I'm thinking that I need at least 30 minutes everyday with a bow in and bow out sort of structure.  This is important and I also see value in this but this has to be coupled with some impromptu and unstructured training to make it effective for me. It's a "hybrid" or what I call "composite" style of training. 

I've realized that I need to take even a few minutes everyday to get in some training. This is above my structure which is my I Ho Chuan requirements of push ups and sit ups etc.  This program has brought me much needed structure.  Where the "composite" part comes in is where I plug in some forms, some tequniques, a few kicks and punches etc. Every little bit of this extra training is fruitful in its own way.  Consitent action is pretty simple if I just don't over think it.

Mr. Repay

lessons in trajectory

I've been working with my new pair of nunchuku.  They're very different from my old style chain and ball bearing ones that I've been exusivley using.  

What I've noticed with this new pair is how unforgiving they are.  Because the rope connecting them is much shorter than the old chain ones and these don't have ball bearings I've had to almost go back to the drawing board. The old ones had a good amount of chain that would wrap around my hand and wrist.  While the ball bearings allowed the handle to rotate.  These two aspects of the old chucks made them easier to use especially when the trajectory wasn't quite on.  

With thes new ones, I have to be completely aware of the rotation and trajectory of the chuck otherwise they're not going to spin where I want them to.  The other noticable difference is where I'm holding them. The old ones were held at the very top of the handle because of the way they are built and balanced. These new ones are held alot lower down and this increases the range and helps with the balance of the weapon.  

I've also been playing with some spins and throws.  This style of nunchuku is so more easier to feel where they are either in my hand or in the air.  This is exactly where proper tracjorty comes into play. If I'm not either completly horizontal or vertical with the trajectory of the spin or throw they aren't going to end up where I'm expecting them to be.  This results in them dropping all the time.  I've started to put together a cool single nunchuku form that incorporates this spin then a throw in the air caught with the other hand and then in to a pretty cool finishing technique.  I haven't decided if I want to start or end with this sequence but the more I'm playing the more I'm learning. 

If you ever want to understand proper trajectory of anything grab a hinged weapon.  You'll quickly and perhaps painfully understand the importance of proper tracjorty.

Mr. Repay

Mediocrity & the fear of failure

 Mediocrity has been on my mind so much over the past couple of months.  It's because it's battling me really hard.  I'm feeling like I'm training in a silo, by my self even though we're doing our best to persevere in a virtual environment.  I personally need to "feel" the energy of the people around me, I feed off it and I like to release it for others.  I know that I can't wait for the kwoon re open and use this time as an excuse to waste more time.  I've realized that I need to reach out for help to keep the energy up.  The Q&A, my classes the brown belt meetings on Saturday and the "one on ones" are here to help.  I've taken advantage of each of these at times and there are times that I've discarded the tools because I thought I didn't need them.

What's interesting is that no matter what I thought, I need every one of these tools.  I thought about what these tools would be like if we weren't in a pandemic and every single one is just as important.  I remember fondly of the "one on one" meetings with Sifu Brinker in his office.  I ALWAYS came away from those conversations with so much clarity and renewed energy.  I think about the benefit of attending my classes and not missing the opportunities that each one brought.  If I missed a class it was gone forever now the classes are recorded and aren't lost forever or at least for now they're all still there.  In so many ways this Pandemic has made the ability to train and feed on so much more knowledge abundant.  But feeding is different that absorbing if I'm not taking the time to peel the layers back by actually training.  That's the key to everything and the thing that I've struggled with, consistent training with some sort of structure.  

When I went to the Kwoon to train the structure was there.  In a virtual environment it's easier to avoid the structure by just not logging in on my ipad.  I used to think that the hardest part of training was getting in my car and now the hardest part seems to be going to my basement.  That really put into perspective that with the in person or virtual training the struggle is the same.  So it comes down to the "why"?  Why am I struggling to train?  I have the most important year right in front of me and yet I'm struggling at times to find the motivation to train.  I know the reason, I don't want to fail and have to go through this year all over again.  I'm telling myself that the road that I'm on is too difficult.  It's painful and full of potholes.  To earn my black belt I have to be the absolute best version of myself both physically and mentally.  My mind and medicority are telling me the journey is too difficult and I'm afraid to fail.  I'm afraid that If I fail the fitness test I'll have to re do this year all over again and I'm not sure that I have it in me to do it again.  Mediocrity has a hold of me and we're battling it out against each other because I'm not ready to give in but I need some help.

Mr. Repay