For the love of the game

 Doing something purely for one’s love of something rather than for money or any other benefit.  This is doing something for the love of the game.  I’ve kind of forgotten this and thinking about my love of Kung fu has brought me back a little.  This year there is a lot on my plate, I Ho Chuan requirements, earning my second degree so that I earn the right to grade for my black belt. I started to doubt myself as to why exactly I decided that I wanted to make this year my potential grading year.  Things have started to overwhelm me a little and I needed to take a pause for a brief moment.  A moment to reflect on why I chose to be a martial artist and why I decided that I wanted to earn my black belt?  I needed to get back to my love of the game.

That love was why I made my first step inside the Kwoon over a decade ago.  That first step was to get into better physical shape by doing something I knew I always wanted to try.  I kept going back to class because the people become like family members to me.  We laughed, we cried and we shed blood sweat and tears together.  The whole while we grew closer by helping each other grow and become better people.  That better person has become me because I loved attending class, I loved learning new things and building some great relationships with everyone there.  That was and still is my love for the game I just forgot about it.  

I’ve come to realize that when I lose this I need to do the simple things.  For me that includes putting my uniform on and tying my belt.  It may seem like a simple thing but it get’s me in the right mental state to train.  My next step is to pick up my nunchucks, they are the weapon I love the most and just holding them motivates me to want to train.  When times are mentally difficult for me these are two things that help bring me back.  It’s the little things along with the big things (structure) that I lean on to make sure that I’m not losing what I love.

Mr. Repay

Kung Fu isn't for everyone but it's for me.

"Kung Fu isn't for everyone but it's available to everyone" is a direct quote by Sifu Brinker that he wrote as a comment on my blog a few weeks ago.  This has gotten me thinking about my journey these past ten years. 

When I think back to my white, yellow and orange belts everything was new and shiny.  There was so much to learn that advancing through the ranks was methodical and so much fun.  As I moved through green and blue things really started to change. These mid rank belts took alot longer to move through than I was used to. Things were still "shiny" but they amount of new that I was learning had dropped off. I had to start to focus on the fine details or my eye for detail.  This was tough on me as I'm not a person that likes the details as much then as I do now.  When I got blue belt my life took a big turn. I changed careers, moved away to South Carolina and things fell off the rails. I actually quit SRKF...  During this time I changed careers and moved away to Winnipeg for over a year while my family stayed behind in Stony Plain.  My Kung Fu couldn't have been farther from my mind.  Fast forward to 2018 when I came back to SRKF.  Something was always missing in my life with out SRKF.  I wasn't a complete person with out it. 

Now I'm at the point where Sifu Brinker made that comment on my blog. I will admit I was taken aback by it. I took the better part of a week to try and understand what he was trying to tell me?  I booked a "one on one" and we talked about it.  It was at that moment I understood what he was trying to tell me.  It was an awakening for me, that moment when clarity entered my mind.  I can truly say that some of my most engaging Kung Fu has been over the past two weeks.  I'm getting stronger, my kicks are getting much better and mentally I'm in a good place.  The challenge will be to keep the pace, not let this momentum wain.  What's helping me keep the pace is a combination of many things.  One on ones, attending my classes, being consistent with my I Ho Chuan requirements engaging with other team members.  

The most important thing is engaging with my family and having them with me on this journey.  This hasn't happened in years past and I can see the difference.  In particular having my wife hold the bag on Sundays when we do our kicks has been so important to me.  She's there counting my kicks, giving me feedback and most importantly encouragement!  Her steadfast support and encouragement is the keystone to my success.

Some updates

 Today I felt like writing about some updates.  Last week I wasn't feeling great mentally and I let that mental state affect my training.  I didn't stop training but I wasn't training at my normal level.  One thing that resonated with me was something Sifu Brinker said during one of our meetings.  He made mention that some of us would be struggling one week into the Year of the Ox.  Well that was me but what surprised me is that it's only one week in.  For some reason I was thinking that we were a significant way into the year and I was starting to feel some pressure on my preparation for my grading.  What's really interesting is that once I realized that, I started to feel much better about where I am.  I have to be careful to not get too complacent with my training either.  I just need to ensure that I know where I am and where I'm heading.

The I Ho Chuan meeting this Thursday and the Saturday brown belt meeting was also a massive help to me.  It was great to hear and see everyone on the team.  Listening to everyone share where they are and how helpful everyone is to one an other is such a motivating factor.  I also realized that I need to schedule "one on ones" which for some reason I resisted.

I'm really enjoying the Saturday fitness class that Sifu Thomson is holding.  When I think back to years past the Saturday fitness class was such a HUGE reason for being in great shape.  I'm not a fan of cardio but Sifu Thomson found a routine that made it "cough cough"....... enjoyable.  

Finally this afternoon the Kohuts, Bjorkquist's and myself (with my my wife) ran through the kicks and punch portion of the black belt fitness exam.  Tons of work is needed but I really enjoy getting together as a group, cheering each other on and seeing the (in my case) minute progress lol!  

So if I'm going to tie a bow on all of this, engagement is the key.  Even when I don't feel like being engaged, I have to find the ways to keep engaging.  We have a great group of people that I absolutely love training with and they are the keys to success!

Mr. Repay

Covid Fatigue

I'm feeling this fatigue more than I've been willing to admit until today.  I'm feeling like I'm on a hamster wheel that's spinning out of control but going no where. 

My training has been declining and I'm struggling to take consistent action on my daily requirements. Recently I injured my thumb pretty bad which seemed like the icing on this cake.  I wasnt able to participate in the Sunday group test which sapped more energy that I don't have to give.  

This may sound like alot of complaining and "whoa is me" but it's not.  It's a snapshot of exactly where I am right now.  Writing about this is part of the recovery and I'm not going to hide or be untruthful about my current situation.  

Time to start anew with my Zoom class tonight.  

Mr. Repay

That crazy center line & A ha!

 During the weekly brown belt meeting a great question was posed by Mr. Bjorkquist about the Long form.  Master Brinker took some time to address this and the way he described the center line and how he moves keeping his center line protected was an "a ha" moment for me.  

I've thought about the center line many times over my training and I know where it is.  What I didn't realize was how I was moving in relation to my center line.  I've been crossing over my center line with blocks, over rotating on kicks and not being overly aware of where my center line is.  The really cool thing about being aware of of my center line is the six harmonies that come into play.  By keeping my center line secure, I'm moving more of my body and I'm feeling the connection with the harmonies and with the ground.  I'm feeling more secure and more connected with my body and the ground, it's hard at times to describe what I'm feeling but I feel way better .

It's a really cool feeling that I wished I felt earlier in my training.  

Mr. Repay

Any road won't get you where you want to go.

 I realized that for a lot of my life I used to sort of float along in the wind, content to go where the wind blew in certain aspects of my life.  I'm not a person that embraces structure even though I see the benefit of it.  Way back when I started baking and managing a bakery there was this boss that was all about structure.  I remember when he would come into my bakery asked me "Ian, where's your list?"  This listed all the things I needed to get made for the day in priority from top to bottom.  Needless to say I rarely had a list and if I did it wasn't prioritized.  I fought against this as I felt I didn't need one, I knew what needed to get done and I would make it happen.  Thinking back on this, it my ego that was running my life and it wasn't about to be ruled by a list.

I've realized that if I want to be successful in my personal or professional life I will need to make a few "lists".  This isn't always about making a list but more it talks about adding some structure to my life.  I can't earn my black belt just by floating on the breeze, it just won't happen.  I remember that Sifu Brinker said that black belts are "control freaks".  They want to control almost every aspect of their lives and this comes from the adaptation of structure.  

This morning a group of us candidates got together on Zoom to run through the kick portion of the grading test.  I must say, I wasn’t looking forward to it and in my mind I was looking for excuses to not participate.  I have this bad habit of thinking the worst which is a departure from my mostly positive attitude.  I am very thankful I took part because I did better than I thought I would.  I even got my wife to come and participate by holding the bag and helping keep count.  Having her there was sooooooo important to me as she is my support and motivation to keep going when I don’t want to.  

Because of today I now have a “baseline” for where I am with my kicks. I’m a data nerd so I’ve already made a spreadsheet with way too many columns just to see the data as I want to see it.  I might even make a pivot table which is WAYYYYYY too much but that’s just me.  This brings me back to the start of the blog, I now have a list of things that I need to accomplish every day and I’m consistently logging those numbers.  I can’t be successful in life or in Kung Fu by just floating in the wind.  I feel that this structure has changed my life for the better and I just need keep bringing out the inner control freak.

Mr. Repay

Consistent Action

Seems simple enough.  So why do I overcomplicate this so much?  It should be as simple as doing something every day.  It doesn't have to be structured in such a way that it has to happen at the same time and place.  Sure this may make it easier and I've seen this benefit in my training. In my line of work this isn't possible.  So because of this and our virtual environment it should make it easier to take consistent action.  Nope, because I'm thinking that I need at least 30 minutes everyday with a bow in and bow out sort of structure.  This is important and I also see value in this but this has to be coupled with some impromptu and unstructured training to make it effective for me. It's a "hybrid" or what I call "composite" style of training. 

I've realized that I need to take even a few minutes everyday to get in some training. This is above my structure which is my I Ho Chuan requirements of push ups and sit ups etc.  This program has brought me much needed structure.  Where the "composite" part comes in is where I plug in some forms, some tequniques, a few kicks and punches etc. Every little bit of this extra training is fruitful in its own way.  Consitent action is pretty simple if I just don't over think it.

Mr. Repay