Consistency

I've struggled with this for a very very long time, actually as long as I've know myself. I get on a cycle where I have the best intentions and I can see the goal but I start to fail mid way through the journey. We've discussed it over and over as a team and I've gone over and over this with myself and with many Sifu's over the years. Yet I'm still on that cycle.  

I've recently come to realize that I'm more focused on the end result but I'm unwilling to put in the work/struggle to get there. Everything starts with big highs and the best of intentions.  Then along the way I miss a class, skip my daily pushups etc etc. One day turns to two then three then all stop.  It's a cycle that he perpetrated my life for too long and I really really need it to stop. 

I've also realized that in order to break this cycle I have to first be aware of why and I've finally think I've discovered/accepted that. Secondly I've forgiven myself and I'm moving on. Lastly its about the journey not the destination. This is going to be the hardest for me as I've liked to live my life based on this quote, "I just want the baby, not pain". 

When I reflect back on this quote it's been with me for a very long time. Subconsciously it's always back there, whispering to me and leading me down that we'll worn path.  Time to work on changing the path, it won't be easy but if I want to change my life I must. 

Mr. Repay