Two Hands

This past week a light bulb seemed to go after Wednesday’s class.  Since I started we are taught to incorporate two hands in our techniques and forms as much as possible.  When I work through my forms I actively think about this and have been incorporating both hands as much as possible.  However when it came to sparring this hasn’t been happening.  It seems that when I start sparring I would resort to a sort of traditional boxing stance and form if that makes any sense?.  Jab jab reverse punch reset.  Jab reverse punch dragons whip reset.  This has been the basis for my sparing style until recently and it hasn't been effective against high level opponents.  I seem to be eating a lot of kicks and punches with this style and it's not fun at all LOL!

During last class Sifu McBurney had the black belts spar against the color belts.  This is when the light bulb went on for me.  I was sparring with Sifu Leitz and he talked and worked with me to disrupt his rhythm and flow.  At first I didn’t understand what he meant but then he slowed it down for me.  I started to block and counter almost at the same time and I was amazed at how well it worked.  I used to (and still do) block and counter with at least a second between the two. I spent some time this past Saturday working on this during open training and it seems to be coming along slowly.  However now that I have seen this work for me first hand I will continue to work on this application in all of my Kung Fu training even more than I have in the past.  There is sooo much more for me to learn but now I seem to have a better understanding of two handed flow thanks to last class.

Mr. Repay

Student of Silent River Kung Fu 

Why do you do this?

Recently I have had this question posed to me.  It was after an especially difficult class where we worked to utter exhaustion.  I was asked after class by someone who watched the class but was not in Kung Fu.  She asked me with a puzzled look on her face “why do you put yourself through that?  Don’t you feel like giving up during the class?”  With out giving this question any thought my response was “It’s kung fu and it’s hard work but it’s worth it in the end”.  She continued to look at me with an even more puzzled look as I had obviously not answered her question in her mind.  In my mind I felt I gave her a completely honest and thorough kung fu student answer.

I must admit that during these classes there are at times where giving up has entered my mind but almost as soon as it gets in there I push it out.  Sure Kung Fu is difficult but many of my mentors have told me that “if it’s not difficult then it’s not worth doing”.  This has really stuck with me and that’s what I was thinking during this class.  If getting a black belt was easy was it worth it?  I know the answer to this question as I have seen the progression and journey of our newest black belts.  I know from seeing what they went through and talking with them that is was incredibly difficult but the end result was more than worth it to them.

I think it is extremely difficult for people that are not in Kung Fu or the martial arts to fully understand why we put out selves through the difficult training.  It’s hard for them to understand why we sweat and bleed for year after year to get something as abstract to them as a “black belt”.  All I can do (and will do) is continue to sweat day after day knowing that all of this effort that I am putting in now will pay off when I tie on the black belt around my waist for the very first time.

Ian Repay

Student of Silent River Kung Fu

Stony Plain, Alberta

Perspective

Let me start by saying that I would not recommend that you take time off from your training.  However because I took some time away I see things in a different perspective.  For the past couple of years I was very competitive in my training.  I wanted to be the fastest, strongest and best at everything I did.  I didn’t realize at the time but this was going to be the detriment to myself and my training partners.  I wasn’t always the best training partner because I always wanted to “win” or be the best regardless of how I treated my training partners.

Since I have come back, I have started to look at my training differently.  I am looking for less power and more flow.  I am starting to break my training down and stepping back a little.  I am still very competitive as I always have been but I am looking at my training and my training partners with a new perspective.  I have a new found appreciation for how much I have learnt but I wonder if I would have approached my training differently where I might be right now?  If I would have taken the time to listen more and act a little less I feel that my training as well as life would have taken a slightly different course.  I must continue to be mindful of my weaknesses and work extra hard to continue to make the positive changes in my life. 

We can’t live life with one eye focused on the future and one eye looking into the past.  The past is the past which we can never change but we can and should work toward being a little bit very day.  Incremental progression and being mindful of ones actions and thoughts is going to be the only way to continue on this new path, this new perspective.

Ian Repay

Student of Silent River Kung Fu

Journey Back

What a journey it has been this past 6 weeks.  Things have been tumultuous, stressful, and sobering all at the same time. 

Recently I was witness to a moving presentation given by a passionate member of my business team.  He talked at length about how we are all on a river, moving at times very quickly and at times slowly.  There are rapids that move very fast and can change elevation with little notice.  He talked about how we are very small little “twigs” on this large river.  This meant to me that no matter how we try we really can’t change how it flows and where it flows but rather we have to get as close to the middle of that river and do our best to ride it. 

When I reflect on these past six weeks in my life I see how I was on this river.  However I wasn’t in the middle riding it as best as I could, rather I was trying to change it’s flow.  I have realized that things are not in my control as I thought they were.  I realized that I was trying to change things and due to my inability at the time to realize that this was not a sound plan, I found my self getting very overwhelmed.  Stress was starting to take hold in my life and I wasn’t able to cope.  I started to pull back from my Kung Fu as I felt I didn’t have the time to devote to it.  What I didn’t realize that it was my Kung Fu that was going to help me get through this.  The discipline and structure that I have learnt through the UBBT was what I needed to lean on to get me through.  However I didn’t come to realize this until recently. 

What I have learnt and have grown from is the realization is that I was and am still in need of more discipline and structure in my life.  This journey that I am on has become such an integral part of who I have become and who I still want to grow into. 

Walking into the Kwoon this past Saturday was such an emotional experience.  To see everyone that I have not seem for a little while and to see them welcome me back with open arms was such as amazing feeling that is hard to explain.  The positive energy in the Kwoon is addictive in many ways that I wish more people would have the ability to experience.  Once I reconnected on Saturday I can honestly say that what I was missing spiritually was found in the Kwoon .  I was missing my connection with the Kwoon these past six weeks.  I was not feeding myself spiritualy and was "starved" inside.  There is a lot to be said about how important to feed ourselves spiritually just as much as it is need physically.

This may seem “corny”, but we are all in this river and we have to get in the middle and ride it as best we can.    Take time to feed yourself spiritually as this is such an important aspect of  our lives that too may of us overlook.

To Master Brinker – Thank you.

Mr. Repay

Student Of Silent River Kung Fu

What a feeling.

Today was one of those amazing days of lows and highs.  All that matters is how the day has ended and it has on an incredible HIGH.  

A little insight to what happened today.  We pay our sales reps bonuses for selling different items.  Recently we have found ourselves in a situation where we have a significant amount of aged or slightly expired inventory.  We paid out on sales for these items as it was a better situation to get something rather than disposing of it and getting nothing.  I personally don’t sell directly to customer as I am the sales manager for my company.  On this one occasion, I had a situation where I could sell a significant amount of product to a customer I know quite well personally.  This customer is one of my reps direct accounts.  However he didn’t make the sale even though he was there a couple of hour before I made the call.  I ended up selling a bunch of product and my company wants to pay this “bonus” out.  

Here is what I was torn about and what I did about this that made me feel so amazing.  I felt initially that we would pay the rep the commission.  I felt this way because it was his customer and I wanted to build some good will with him.  After reflecting upon this for some time (my boss thought I was mad for wanting to pay it to him and wanted me to have it) I decided that perhaps I should keep it as I did make the sale after all…  On the way home today I am talking with my wife about this and she suggested that I donate it to charity.  I was struggling with this all day and I didn’t feel that the he deserved nor did I deserve it.  We continued to talk and all of a sudden I had an epiphany.  We had a request for donations for a women’s shelter and why not donate it to them?  Who could better use this money than a woman’s shelter?  I called up my boss and told him what I wanted to do and he was extremely happy to be able to deliver this message and gift to them.  

What an amazing feeling came over me right at that moment!  It would have been really easy to keep a nice chunk of money but I realized that many more people could benefit from it in a lot better ways than I could have.  One of the reasons that I thought of this was the work we do at the Kwoon with the benevolent society.  It was a way that we can give back to the community that needs our support more than ever.

Ian Repay

UBBT 8 Student Member

Silent River Kung Fu

Discipline…what’s that?

Reflecting back on UBBT 8 as we wind down this year I am thinking about discipline.  When I started on this journey I felt that I had a lot of it.  I started off with an abundance of discipline and I felt like this would not be that difficult.  Wow was I wrong!  I have come to discover that one of my greatest weaknesses is discipline.  I realized that upon reflection that I don’t yet have it.  I have failed myself in this area and I am not happy with my self.  I have also realized that not only do I not have discipline when it comes to my UBBT 8 requirements; I don’t have a level of discipline that is at level in my personal/business life that I am happy with.  I now realize what I need to do. Right now to get that level of discipline the first step is to admit that this is an area of weakness.  Now that I have done this, I have become mindful of it and it is at forefront of my thinking.  To me this is so important that to not only acknowledge the weakness but to always be mindful of it.  

I am going to use this learning to be more proactive and will be the start of my development.  I am going to be mindful of my mental state and work toward changing my thinking and my actions.  I know this will not be easy as this is who I have always been.  However, it is never too late to start or want to start to change. 

Today is the first step on my new (bumpy) path.  Today I am mindful of my weakness and today I going to start to change my life.

Ian Repay

Student Member of UBBT 8

Student of Silent River Kung Fu

UBBT - Celebration of life

These past couples of weeks have been very trying at best.  My grandmother has taken a turn for worst these past couple of weeks.  We are now planning what most families don’t want to do that often and that is plan a funeral.  However we all take solace in the fact that she was almost 90 years old and lived a very full life.  There has never been a woman in my life that was so positive at all times.  She was content in all aspect of her life and that is a tough thing to do these days.  We seem to be living a life that is superficial at best.  We are looking for that next promotion and that new car as we try and justify our place in the world.  My grandmother was not that person.  She was spiritual and her belief in the Lord was what gave her such peace in her life.  She was not interested in the shiny new things rather she was interested only living her life with the Lord day by day.

I have been having a difficult time recently with my UBBT requirements as my personal life, my business life and my Kung Fu are not in balance.  I am struggling to even find the energy to do my push ups and sit ups as well as my journaling.  I have no excuse for this and I have to push through and use this UBBT process as way to bring my life back into focus.  I have been traveling a lot these past week s and I have not been able to attend classes which are not helping me keep that “connection” with my teammates at the kwoon.  I know that I should be reaching out to my teammates for support but I feel that in doing that would send the message that I am not strong enough on my own.  I know that I should not feel this way but I do and I am not sure how to stop feeling this way? I have decided that I am going to finish hard regardless if I am going to reach my goals or not.  I know that I going to fail in areas and in some areas I may reach my goals.  I realize now that this is not all about reaching the goals but rather the journey to get to the goals is what matters.

What matters most is celebrating the life of one of the most amazing grandmother's a grandson could ever have been blessed to have in his life.

Ian Repay
Student Member UBBT8
Silent River Kung Fu