Friendships

 I'ts been a tough two weeks.  I developed what I thought was a really good friendship over the past three years.  It started out through my work and grew from there. Two weeks ago things fell apart and it's hit me really hard. I've been struggling mentally and emotionally and I didn't really see it coming.

Friendships are such an interesting dynamic.  There are times when those relationships feel like family and then there’s times where they feel just awful. I love people and I really value meaningful relationships, maybe too much.  I really enjoy meeting new people, understanding who they are and what makes them who they are.  I enjoy seeing these relationships develop and helping any way that I can.  I’ve developed relationships through business that have been amazing but most of them haven’t turned out the way I expected them to.  Too may times these relationships are there because someone wants something from me.  

This is where my problems lie, I want to always see the good in people not the side of them that they show me just to get something from me that benefits them.  I’ve been taken advantage many times before because I trusted right from the start where there are some people that live by the mantra of “you need to earn my trust”.  

I don’t want to change who I am but I also need to be more aware of the reasons people want to be my friend.  I don’t know where I going to be from here in regards to who I let into my life.  Recently I’ve been really careful who I let in.  As I’m getting older I don’t feel like I want more people inside my inner circle, I don’t want my friendship to be taken advantage of.  I want people to show me who they truly are not who they think I want them to be. 

I’m sadden right now because I’m dealing with a situation just like I’ve described.  We’ve both made mistakes and I really hopeful that we can move past them.

Mr. Ian Repay