I miss Kung Fu. I miss my Kung Fu family more than ever.
I have been going through an epic struggle, alone. I have retreated into myself, and have listened to many voices inside my head. So few posative, so many negative.
I haven't attended classes in forever. I have made many excuses to myself but none of them are true. I have retreated into self pity. I have totally accepted that I have failed in my journey. I have given up on my Kung Fu after five years of dedication, blood sweat and lots of tears.
This has been tearing me up inside. I don't know how to cope with this struggle? I don't know where to go from here? I don't know how to battle the war that wages inside myself? Why can't I just get over myself and kick things back to the way it was, when I was flying high? Why is it so difficult to move forward when it's easier to watch life go by on sidelines? I have been watching for the past year and deep down in my soul, I don't like it. It leaves a big hole in my soul, and those who understand are the ones who have trained and became part of the family.
The war continues to wage inside.
Mr. Ian Repay
