Posativity and Attitude

I have read and re read a lot of my recent blogs.  Wow do they have a negative tone to them!  I didn't quite realize how negative they were until I stepped back and re read them. 

I don't feel that I can make the changes to my life and my Kung Fu by having this mindset.  I need to change my perspective on how I look at things.  Even in my darkest places there can be positives as long as I take the time to recognize them. 

Another area where I need to look at things differently is what Steven Covey explain as "sharpening the saw".  In essence it means to do things that are posative both mentally and physically in order to keep our mind and body or "saw" sharp.  I have been neglecting both aspects in my life and I can tell you that my "saw" is pretty dull right now.  However I sharpened the first teeth last night.  I spent the evening with my friend and his family having a wonderful supper and visit.  I also had done something that I hadn't done in years and that was strap on my hockey skates and play some pond hockey.  It was amazing to get back on the ice and play with my friend and his two young sons.  I realized after reflecting on my evening that I have to stop feeling sorry for myself and start to do the things that make me happy.  Last night was a first step in shedding my poor attitude and the start of re sharpening my "saw".

Finally, see you on the mats this evening :)

Mr. Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta.

Where is up?

I felt like this year was the year I fell so far down that I'm not sure where up is?  I will say that this is 100% my fault.  I allowed myself to go in this direction and I did nothing to turn it around.  My mind kept and keeps telling me "why start over", "why bother anymore"?  I will admit that I have listened to these voices in my head and I have allowed myself to keep falling.  I know that I'm on a path that isn't good both for my physical and mental state however I can't seem to motivate myself to get off of it.  I am ashamed of where I have let myself get to but am I ashamed enough to do something about it? 

People say that smoking is the hardest thing to do.  I can't speak to that as I haven't smoked.  However I have also heard that people will fail to quite unless they are ready.  What does that exactly mean?  Does something have to happen in thier life physically like a stroke to jolt them into making the decision to quite for the betterment of thier health?  I look at myself and see that I'm not healthy physically or mentally like I want to be.

But I'm scared to do something about it.  I'm not sure if scared is the right word to describe this but am I ready to quite the lifestyle of poor eating, no exercise and no mental exercise?  I am ready to give up a life of mediocrity?  I don't know and I am ashamed to admit that as that is what our journey in this program is all about.  I actually have spent the better part of the year going in the opposite direction embracing the thing we are trying to get rid of.  So why am I where I am right now?  I thinks because its the easier path to follow.  The path of least resistance is easy to follow and I haven't been ready to put the work in, change my thinking and re commit to the process. 

I have to.  I have to change.  I have begun to change by writing this blog today.  I have taken the first step and I will take the next one and the next. Change must start with me.  One step at a time.

Mr. Ian Repay
Student of Silent River Kung Fu