Had a good I Ho Chaun meeting yesterday with the team and our team's mentor's. Very candid discussions surrounding lineage in the martial arts and what it means to be a black belt. Not only to be a black belt but to live a black belt life. My goal is still to attain my black belt and when I do my further goal is to live the life of a SRKF black belt. Lineage has always been important to me especially in regards to family. This is how most of us can relate to lineage. Who is in the family tree is important to me and it represents who came before me. There are always individuals that are are in the family tree that perhaps we are not the most proud of. The same can be said in the martial artist lineage. Whatever your opinion is of these individuals they are still part of who the family is and who the martial artist is.
I am proud to be part of my families lineage as well as SRKF's lineage.
Ian Repay
Student Of Silent River Kung Fu
ianrepay@blogspot.ca
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Mumble jumble and everything in between
This is a tough blog to write. When I joined SRKF I joined because I wanted to get into shape and to become a black belt in kung fu. When I think back what I thought a black belt was or what it represented is very interesting. I can honestly tell you that I thought a black belt meant that you could fight and that you had "arrived". There was ego in my mind when I think back to that time, "look at me, I'm a black belt thus I'm better than you". Wow has a lot changed in the past four years.
I no longer think that earning a black belt means you have "arrived" rather it means you have reached a starting point. A starting point for the rest of your life.
This brings me to where I'm now. I'm not sure where I am to be completely honest. I have almost lost faith in what I am trying to achieve. What I mean by this is that I'm no longer motivated by achieving my kung fu black belt. I'm no longer wanting to work as I have in the past years to get to that point. Why is this? I don't really know and I can't put my finger on it. However I do think that I haven't fully recovered from my failure last year. I know that I haven't come to terms with where I am physically and where I was before I left to SC. They may seem trivial to some but I know how difficult it was to get to that point and what I have to go through again just to get back there. I know that I have not mentally prepared myself to want to go through that again.
When I joined SRKF I was looking for a lifestyle, a way to live my life through my martial arts and my kung fu. For the past four years I have loved this part of the martial arts. Why now am I feeling like this lifestyle is no longer serving me? Why am I looking at my kung fu in this way?
So what to do, where do I go from here? Do I throw away four years of my life and quit? I attended another school recently just to see what it would be like. I will share with you that in some ways I liked it better. In other ways not as much. I have decided to continue with my kung fu and to see my journey continue. For how long? I'm not sure but one thing I am sure of is that I made a commitment to the I Ho Chuan Team. There is no quitting the team and I refuse to break that commitment. If there is only one thing that I can say that I achieved this year then I can at least say that I didn't quit.
I want to ask something of my team, if you don't hear from me or see me please reach out to me. I will do the same for you. It means a lot to know that the team still wants you as a team mate.
Ian Repay
Student Of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta, Canada
ianrepay@blogspot.com
I no longer think that earning a black belt means you have "arrived" rather it means you have reached a starting point. A starting point for the rest of your life.
This brings me to where I'm now. I'm not sure where I am to be completely honest. I have almost lost faith in what I am trying to achieve. What I mean by this is that I'm no longer motivated by achieving my kung fu black belt. I'm no longer wanting to work as I have in the past years to get to that point. Why is this? I don't really know and I can't put my finger on it. However I do think that I haven't fully recovered from my failure last year. I know that I haven't come to terms with where I am physically and where I was before I left to SC. They may seem trivial to some but I know how difficult it was to get to that point and what I have to go through again just to get back there. I know that I have not mentally prepared myself to want to go through that again.
When I joined SRKF I was looking for a lifestyle, a way to live my life through my martial arts and my kung fu. For the past four years I have loved this part of the martial arts. Why now am I feeling like this lifestyle is no longer serving me? Why am I looking at my kung fu in this way?
So what to do, where do I go from here? Do I throw away four years of my life and quit? I attended another school recently just to see what it would be like. I will share with you that in some ways I liked it better. In other ways not as much. I have decided to continue with my kung fu and to see my journey continue. For how long? I'm not sure but one thing I am sure of is that I made a commitment to the I Ho Chuan Team. There is no quitting the team and I refuse to break that commitment. If there is only one thing that I can say that I achieved this year then I can at least say that I didn't quit.
I want to ask something of my team, if you don't hear from me or see me please reach out to me. I will do the same for you. It means a lot to know that the team still wants you as a team mate.
Ian Repay
Student Of Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta, Canada
ianrepay@blogspot.com
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