Throughout my life I have been faced with many people saying "your to small", "your not smart enough" etc. You try and block these things from your mind and tell yourself "I don't believe them". However these things tend to stick and especially if you been told this when you are growing up as a child. Life can be cruel and people crueler. For most all of my adult life I have set about proving people wrong and self justifying that I have succeeded and these people where wrong. But really what is success? Is that fancy car that you bought that shows people "Hey I am a success!!" or is that title in your work that has "Director or VP"? I think too often we measure success by what the material things we have acquired and what titles we have achieved. But is that really success?? I used to think exactly that. I used to measure my success around material things and titles. To me it was a very easy way to prove to myself that I had made it and show other people look at me!!
I no longer measure my self the same way. I have a sense of humility that I never had before. It takes work to change your thinking and it must be a continual every day thing. What I truly love about Kung Fu is the positive attitude that people have. The sense of humility that not only our Sifu's have but pretty much everyone at the Kwoon has. It's energy helps keep my ego in check and helps grow my humbleness that is so important in not only Kung Fu but life.
It was only five years ago that my personal life came crashing down. I realized that I was very very selfish and had a huge ego. I had to hit rock bottom to truly realized what I was and what I had become. My wife is an absolute angel!! With out her I would not be here today and I fear that I would have stayed on that destructive path that I was on. She along with my children are the most important things in my life I know I don't tell them that enough, but I am working on that!!
When I started the new chapter of life five years ago a dear friend and colleague shared with me the 10 commandments of human relations that I would like to share with you.
1. Speak to people - there is nothing as nice as a cheerful greeting
2. Call people by name - the sweetest music to hear is one's name called
3. Have HUMILITY - There is something to be learned from every living thing
4. Be friendly - if you want to have a friend, be one
5. Be cordial - speak and act as if everything you do is a pleasure
6. Be interested in others - you can like almost everyone if you try
7. Be generous with praise - cautious with criticism
8. Give your word - then keep it
9. Be considerate - of the feelings of others
10. Be alert to give service -what counts most in life is what we do for others
Ian
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